1 Ocak 2012 Pazar

South Park S10E09 Mystery of the Urinal Deuce


* I'M GOING DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK *
* GONNA HAVE
MYSELF A TIME *
* FRIENDLY FACES
EVERYWHERE *
* HUMBLE FOLKS
WITHOUT TEMPTATION *
* GOING DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK *
* GONNA LEAVE MY
WOES BEHIND *
* AMPLE PARKING
DAY OR NIGHT *
* PEOPLE SPOUTING
"HOWDY NEIGHBOR" *
* HEADED ON UP
TO SOUTH PARK *
* GONNA SEE IF
I CAN'T UNWIND *
* ( mumbling ) *
* COME ON DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK *
* AND MEET SOME
FRIENDS OF MINE *
( school bell ringing )
...AND SO CLASS,
THAT IS WHEN JOLIE
COUNTERED BACK TO ANISTON
AND SAID THINGS LIKE--
OH HELLO,
MR. MACKEY.
ALL THE GIRLS GO OUT
IN THE HALL, PLEASE.
I NEED TO SPEAK WITH THE
BOYS OF THIS CLASS, M'KAY.
BOYS, WE HAVE
A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.
I'VE JUST COME FROM
THE MEN'S RESTROOM,
AND SOMEBODY...
WENT NUMBER TWO IN THE URINAL.
WHAT'S A URINAL ?
THE WALL TOILET
FOR PEEING IN.
AND SOME JOKESTER,
TOOK A POOP IN IT, M'KAY.
NOW, I WANT WHOEVER DID IT
TO COME FORWARD RIGHT NOW
AND IT WILL BE LESS PAINFUL
FOR EVERYBODY, M'KAY ?
WHO WOULD TAKE A DUMP
IN THE URINAL.
IT'S SUCH A
SENSELESS CRIME.
MR. MACKEY, I THINK
YOU MIGHT WANT TO ENTERTAIN
THAT THIS IS SOME KIND OF
CONSPIRACY...
JUST LIKE 9-11.
OH GOD, HERE WE
GO AGAIN.
9-11 WAS NOT
A CONSPIRACY, FAT ASS !
OH REALLY ?
DO YOU JUST BELIEVE EVERYTHING
YOU'RE TOLD, KYLE ?
EXCUSE ME !
CAN WE GET BACK TO
THE ISSUE, PLEASE ?
YOU ALL DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND
HOW SERIOUS THIS IS !
NOW WHO MADE DOOKIE
IN THE URINAL ?
( all snickering )
OH YOU THINK
IT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
M'KAY, M'KAY, YOU'RE GONNA
THINK IT'S REAL FUNNY
WHEN THE POLICE GET HERE !
I'M SORRY, MR. MACKEY,
BUT THERE JUST ISN'T REALLY
ANY EVIDENCE TO GO ON...
BUT THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN SOME MOTIVE
NOBODY WOULD JUST DOOK IN
THE URINAL FOR NO REASON.
BUT WHO WOULD BENEFIT FROM
CRAPPING IN THE URINAL ?
THIS IS TOO BIG
A MYSTERY FOR ME,
I THINK WE BETTER
CALL IN THE HARDLY BOYS.
THE HARDLY BOYS !
TWO YOUNG
WHIPPER SNAPPERS
WITH A KNACK FOR
SOLVING MYSTERIES !
THE HARDLY BOYS IN:
SO THAT'S IT, HARDLY BOYS,
WE'VE GOT NO LEADS
AND NOBODY ADMITTING
TO THE CRIME.
THAT SURE IS
A MYSTERY.
YEAH IT SOUNDS
SUPER-HARD.
WHOEVER DID IT MUST HAVE BEEN
ANGRY WITH THE SCHOOL.
OH... OH, I THINK
I'M GETTING A CLUE.
REALLY ?
YEAH, THIS IS TOTALLY
GIVING ME A CLUE RIGHT NOW.
OH, I'M STARTING
TO GET A CLUE TOO !
MY CLUE'S KINDA
POINTING THIS WAY.
OH, YEAH, NOW
I'VE GOT A TOTAL CLUE.
I'VE STILL GOT
A RAGING CLUE.
MY CLUE'S POINTING
OVER THERE NOW.
OH LET'S FOLLOW
THAT CLUE.
( school bell ringing )
DID THEY FIND OUT WHO
CRAPPED IN THE URINAL YET ?
NOT YET.
THEY AREN'T GOING TO
FIND OUT WHO DID IT.
BUT THEY'LL MAKE UP
A SCAPEGOAT,
SEND HIM TO DETENTION
AND MAKE US
ALL BELIEVE IT.
IT'LL BE 9-11
ALL OVER AGAIN.
WILL YOU SHUT UP
ABOUT 9-11 ?
KYLE, WHY ARE YOU
SO AFRAID OF THE TRUTH ?
BECAUSE ANYBODY WHO THINKS
9-11 WAS A CONSPIRACY
IS A RETARD !
OH REALLY ?
DID YOU KNOW THAT OVER
ONE-FOURTH OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA
THINK THAT 9-11
WAS A CONSPIRACY ?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT ONE-FOURTH
OF AMERICANS ARE RETARDS ?
YES, I'M SAYING ONE-FOURTH
OF AMERICANS ARE RETARDS.
YEAH, AT LEAST
ONE-FOURTH.
LET'S TAKE A TEST SAMPLE:
THERE'S FOUR OF US,
YOU'RE A RETARD-
THAT'S ONE-FOURTH.
THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE
WHO KNOW THE TRUTH, KYLE.
BUTTERS !
HEY FELLAS !
BUTTERS, DO YOU THINK
9-11 WAS JUST A PLOT
BY SOME ANGRY TERRORISTS,
OR DO YOU THINK THERE WAS
SOME KIND OF COVER UP ?
WELL, I HEARD THAT 9-11
WAS CAUSED BY PRESIDENT BUSH.
AH HA, YOU SEE ?
WHERE DID YOU
HEAR THAT ?
FROM ERIC.
I REST MY CASE.
BUTTERS, YOU DON'T REALLY
BELIEVE THAT DO YOU ?
WUL... I MEAN...
YOU NEVER KNOW.
THE GOVERNMENT DOES SOME
PRETTY SPOOKY THINGS.
THE GOVERNMENT AND THE
CORPORATIONS HEADED BY THE JEWS
THAT CARRIED OUT 9-11.
THAT'S RIGHT, BUTTERS.
GOD DAMMIT !
YOU SEE
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU SPREAD THIS
STUPID CRAP, FAT ASS !
WHAT- PEOPLE SEE
THE TRUTH ?
CAN I GO NOW ?
YOU GUYS ARE BLIND !
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT EVERYONE HERE
IS JUST BUYING INTO WHAT
THEY'RE TOLD BY THE MEDIA.
I'M GOING TO GO
FIND OUT THE TRUTH.
I'M GONNA BLOW THE LID OFF
THIS WHOLE 9-11 CONSPIRACY
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
OH NO...
* IS IT WRONG FOR ME
TO ASK QUESTIONS *
* IS IT WRONG
TO SEEK THE TRUTH *
* I CAN'T JUST BLINDLY
ACCEPT THEIR VERSION *
* I CAN'T BASE MY LOGIC
ON PROOF *
* ALMOST ALL THE EVIDENCE
POINTS ONE WAY *
* BUT I'M LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN
AND GLORIA ESTEFAN *
* I NEED TO KNOW
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED *
* ON 9-11 *
* 9-11, 9-11 *
* WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
ON 9-11... *
OF COURSE...
IT'S SO OBVIOUS...
HOW DID WE NOT
SEE IT BEFORE...
THIS IS MY FROG,
HE DOESN'T HAVE A NAME.
HE'S A FROG, NOT A TOAD
BECAUSE TOADS DON'T RIBBIT.
I THINK FROGS
ARE GOOD PETS.
( scattered applause )
OKAY, THANK YOU, LEEROY,
THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR
DUMB LITTLE FROG WITH THE CLASS.
OKAY, ANYBODY ELSE HAVE
ANYTHING FOR SHOW AND TELL ?
OH, OOHH !
ALRIGHT, ERIC,
YOU CAN GO NEXT.
FOR SHOW AND TELL TODAY,
I HAVE BROUGHT
MY SHOCKING POWERPOINT REPORT
ON THE TRUTH...
BEHIND THE 9-11 ATTACKS.
OH CHRIST...
WE ARE TOLD TO BELIEVE THAT
THE FIRE FROM THE JET FUEL
MELTED THE STEEL FRAMING
OF THE TOWERS,
WHICH LED TO THEIR COLLAPSE.
BUT DID YOU KNOW
JET FUEL DOESN'T BURN
AT A HIGH ENOUGH TEMPERATURE
TO MELT STEEL ?
WE WERE TOLD THE PENTAGON WAS
HIT BY A HIJACKED PLANE AS WELL.
BUT NOW LOOK AT THIS
PHOTO OF THE PENTAGON.
THE HOLE IS NOT
NEARLY BIG ENOUGH.
AND IF A PLANE HIT IT...
WHERE'S THE REST OF THE PLANE ?
WOAH...
SO NOW, THE
INEVITABLE QUESTION.
IF TERRORISTS DIDN'T
CAUSE 9-11, WHO DID ?
REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE
IN FACT, TWO TOWERS.
TWO MINUS ONE, IS ONE.
ONE, ONE- ELEVEN.
TWO MINUS ONE, IS ONE.
ONE, ONE- AND THERE ARE
9 MEMBERS ON
SILVERSTEIN'S BOARD
OF DIRECTORS.
THAT'S 9-1-1,
9-11.
AND TAKE TWO, MINUS ONE,
PLUS NINE ELEVEN
AND YOU GET TWELVE.
WHICH LEADS US ALL
TO THE MASTERMIND
OF THE 9-11 ATTACKS...
KYLE.
ME ?
12 CONTAINS THE
NUMBERS ONE AND TWO.
JUST LIKE THE
TOILET YESTERDAY,
WHERE SOMEBODY WENT NUMBER TWO
INSTEAD OF NUMBER ONE.
ADD ONE AND TWO
WITH NINE ELEVEN
AND YOU GET 914.
DROP THE 4 AND IT'S "91"
EXACTLY THE SCORE KYLE
GOT ON HIS SPELLING TEST
TWELVE DAYS
AFTER 9-11.
WHO HAD THE MOST
TO GAIN FROM 9-11 ?
KYLE !
WHO WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND THE
MORNING THE TOWERS FELL ?
KYLE !
WHO DROPPED THE DEUCE
IN THE URINAL ?
KYLE !
BUT PROBABLY THE MOST
DAMNING OF ALL
IS THE EVIDENCE SEEN IN
THIS PHOTO OF TOWER 2
WHEN I ZOOMED IN, I SAW WHAT
FIRST APPEARED TO BE A BLUR
BUT WHEN
I COMPUTER-ENHANCED IT...
YOU ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH IT,
YOU SNEAKY BUTTHOLE.
( school bell ringing )
HEY TOKEN.
YOU GONNA WATCH THE
GAME TONIGHT, BUTTERS ?
AAAAHG !
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT !
I WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR 9-11 !
GOD DAMMIT !
HELLO BOOBIE, HOW WAS
SCHOOL TODAY ?
TERRIBLE.
OH, COME ON, SCHOOL
ISN'T ALL THAT BAD.
BUT, EVERYONE THINKS I WAS
RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11.
WHAT-WHAT-WHATTT ?
WE HAVE TO
DO SOMETHING.
IT IS OBVIOUS
THAT OUR CHILDREN
ARE STILL COMPLETELY
CONFUSED ABOUT 9-11 !
YES, WE NEED TO GO OVER IT
AGAIN IN THE CLASSROOMS
SO THEY UNDERSTAND
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
WELL... WHAT
REALLY HAPPENED ?
THERE'S STRONG EVIDENCE
THAT WHAT WE WERE TOLD
ISN'T THE TRUTH.
OH NO.
COME ON.
THAT'S RIGHT.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE
WERE EXPLOSIONS SEEN
AT THE BASE
OF THE TOWERS ?
OH BROTHER.
NO, NO.
ARE YOU RETARDED ?
LOOK, WHATEVER
YOU BELIEVE
THE FACT OF THE MATTER
IS SOMEBODY...
DROPPED A DOOK
IN THE SCHOOL URINAL
AND THERE'S STILL NO
EXPLANATION FOR THAT !
MR. MACKEY, THERE ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON HERE.
MORE IMPORTANT ?
YOU AREN'T THE ONE
WHO HAD TO WALK INTO
THE BOY'S BATHROOM, M'KAY
AFTER HAVING TO
WAKE UP EARLY, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S NO COFFEE IN THE
TEACHER'S LOUNGE
AND THEN YOU WALK
INTO THE BATHROOM
TO JUST FIND A BIG DOOK
LAYING THERE IN THE URINAL.
LIKE IT'S LAUGHING AT YA.
HE'S RIGHT.
THE TURD COULD HAVE BEEN
PUT IN THERE
TO COVER UP 9-11 !
NO, I'M NOT SAYING
THEY'RE RELATED !
HOW DO WE KNOW
THEY'RE NOT ?
WE NEED TO BE BRAVE ENOUGH
TO ASK QUESTIONS !
IT'S OBVIOUS THAT
BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER
WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO WAS
BEHIND 9-11 ONCE AND FOR ALL !
WELL, WHO ELSE COULD
IT HAVE BEEN.
THIS IS TOO BIG
OF A MYSTERY FOR ME.
I THINK WE BETTER CALL
IN THE HARDLY BOYS.
OH NO, NOT
THE GOD DAMN--
THE HARDLY BOYS
TWO SMART YOUNG
WHIPPER SNAPPERS
WITH A TASTE FOR
SOLVING MYSTERIES.
THE HARDLY BOYS IN:
SO THAT'S ABOUT THE LONG AND
SHORT OF IT, HARDLY BOYS.
THERE WERE TWO TOWERS
THAT STOOD RIGHT HERE,
AND THEY'RE GONE.
AND NOBODY KNOWS
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE ?
THERE ARE THEORIES,
BUT NOBODY'S CERTAIN.
HMM, WHO WOULD
BENEFIT MOST
FROM TWO BUILDINGS
DISAPPEARING ?
OH, I JUST STARTED
GETTING A CLUE.
REALLY ?
YEAH I'M TOTALLY
GETTING A CLUE.
OH, THAT'S GIVING
ME A CLUE.
YEAH, I'VE GOT A
RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW.
MINE'S POINTING
TO THE LEFT.
OH, FRANK, SERIOUSLY I HAVE
SUCH A RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW
I THINK WE
BETTER FOLLOW IT.
OKAY, LET'S FOLLOW
YOUR RAGING CLUE...
GOD SPEED.
KYLE !
AAHGGH !
DUDE, DO YOU MIND
TELLING ME WHY CIA GUYS
ARE COMING TO MY HOUSE AND
QUESTIONING ME ABOUT YOU ?
I DON'T KNOW, DUDE !
IT'S LIKE EVERYONE'S
PUTTING PIECES TOGETHER
THAT AREN'T THERE !
BUT WHY DID YOU
HAVE TO INVOLVE ME ?
IT'S NOT MY FAULT !
ALRIGHT, LOOK, I'VE BEEN DOING
A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THE WEB
AND I FOUND AN ORGANIZATION
WHO SAYS THEY CAN PROVE
YOU WEREN'T
INVOLVED IN 9-11.
REALLY ?
COME ON, WE'LL
GO OUT THE BACK
SO THEY DON'T SEE YOU.
THERE'S JUST ONE THING
I NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE GO...
YOU WEREN'T RESPONSIBLE
FOR 9-11, RIGHT ?
DUDE !
THAT'S ALL I NEEDED.
( school bell ringing )
NOW YOU MIGHT ALL THINK
I'VE GIVEN UP
ON FINDING WHO CRAPPED
IN THE URINAL, M'KAY.
AND MAYBE, MAYBE YOU THINK
IT'S A VICTIMLESS CRIME...
THIS IS MR. VENEZUELA,
THE SCHOOL JANITOR, M'KAY.
HE'S THE PERSON
WHO HAS TO CLEAN UP
WHEN SOME TRICKSTER
DROPS A DOOK
IN THE WRONG TOILET.
MR. VENEZUELA MAKES
SIX BUCKS AN HOUR AT BEST, M'KAY
HE'S GOT
THREE KIDS AT HOME,
HE'S GOT A CAR
THAT BARELY WORKS,
HE'S GOT TO CLEAN UP PUKE
WITH SAW DUST, M'KAY,
THEN HE WALKS
INTO THE BOYS ROOM
AND SEES A BIG MEATY CHUD
STARIN' HIM IN THE FACE.
SO WHEN YOU CRAPPED
IN THAT URINAL, M'KAY,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL'VE
JUST DROPPED YOUR PANTS
AND LAID A TURD RIGHT ON
MR. VENEZUELA'S HEAD.
OH, YOU THINK
IT'S FUNNY, HUH !?
MR. MACKEY,
WE GOT HIM !
HUH ?
WE CAUGHT THE PERSON
THAT DID IT.
HI, WE WERE HOPING
YOU CAN HELP US.
MY FRIEND IS
BEING BLAMED
FOR 9-11.
OH JEEZ,
COME ON IN, KIDS.
IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BEING
BLAMED FOR 9-11 EVERY DAY.
THEY ARE ?
YEAH IT'S A WAY OF
KEEPING PEOPLE
FROM SEEING
THE REAL EVIDENCE.
I KNOW IT SEEMS CRAZY,
BUT 9-11 WAS PULLED OFF
BY OUR OWN GOVERNMENT.
SO THEY COULD GAIN SUPPORT FOR
ATTACKING THE MIDDLE EAST.
WHAT ?
NO, NO, NO.
I KNOW IT'S
HARD TO BELIEVE.
DUDE, WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT
ATTACK ITS OWN BUILDINGS ?
IT'S CALLED
THE FALSE FLAG POLICY.
MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE ENEMY
HAS ATTACKED YOU.
GET ALL YOUR CITIZENS RILED UP
AND WAVING AMERICAN FLAGS
THEN YOU'RE FREE TO INVADE
ANY COUNTRY YOU WANT.
THAT'S RETARDED.
LOOK INTO EVIDENCE
OF 9-11 AND YOU'LL SEE
THERE ARE A LOT OF HOLES
IN THEIR STORY !
THERE'S A LOT OF HOLES IN
THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION TOO,
IT DOESN'T
MEAN IT'S WRONG.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND !
THE GOVERNMENT
CONTROLS EVERYTHING.
THE MEDIA,
THE CORPORATIONS
THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DO
ANYTHING THEY WANT !
HERE LOOK, READ THE LABELS
ON THESE !
GO ON !
READ THEM !
"CODE 2-3-4."
WE THINK THEY CAME FROM
A GOVERNMENT OFFICE.
WHAT IS IT ?
IT'S ANTHRAX.
ANTHRAX ?
SOMEDAY, WE'LL USE IT AS
EVIDENCE AGAINST THEM.
STAN, WE CAN'T BE SEEN
WITH THIS NUT JOB !
RAHGHGH !
HANDS UP !
DON'T MOVE !
( sirens blaring )
AW-AW ! AWWWWW !
WHY, CLYDE,
WHY DID YOU DO IT ?
I DUNNO.
YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE
SCHOOL HERE, CLYDE, M'KAY ?
YOU'VE GOT OVER
THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE
THAT NEED TO USE
THE BOYS ROOM.
AND YOU DECIDE YOU'RE GONNA
BE A COMEDIAN, M'KAY,
AND PINCH ONE OFF
IN THE URINAL
AND LEAVE IT LAYING THERE FOR
EVERYONE TO HAVE TO LOOK AT.
M'KAY, YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY,
BUT NOBODY ELSE DOES.
THEY'VE GOT TO
WALK INTO THAT BATHROOM
AND SEE YOUR RANCID DOOK
PROPPED AGAINST
THE BACK OF THE URINAL
LIKE A BROWN RAG DOLL.
MR. MACKEY, CLYDE'S
PARENTS ARE HERE.
M'KAY, THAT'S GOOD.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOUR
MOM AND DAD HAVE TO SAY
ABOUT YOUR
LITTLE POOPSCAPADE.
COME ON IN, PLEASE,
I'M JUST TRYING TO
GET YOUR SON TO EXPLAIN
WHY HE WOULD DROP
A DOOK IN THE URINAL.
MR. MACKEY...
THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU SHOULD KNOW...
EXCUSE ME, THERE'S BEEN
A MISUNDERSTANDING...
COME ON IN,
MR. PRESIDENT.
MR. PRESIDENT,
MY NAME IS--
SHUT UP.
YOU THINK WE DON'T
KNOW YOUR NAME ?
WE KNOW EVERYTHING.
WE CONTROL
EVERYTHING.
WE'VE ALL
WORKED VERY HARD
TO KEEP OUR INVOLVEMENT
IN 9-11 A SECRET.
BUT YOU JUST HAD TO
KEEP DIGGING.
REALLY ?
YOU WON'T
GET AWAY WITH IT.
PEOPLE KNOW.
"PEOPLE"
YOU MEAN SHEEPLE.
WE HAVE THE MAJORITY OF THEM
KEPT IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE.
JUST ONE MORE LEAK
TO FIX.
WAIT...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
YOU'VE BEEN A THORN IN OUR SIDE
FOR TOO LONG, I'M AFRAID.
NO, YOU CAN'T
DO THIS !
PLEASE, I'LL STOP !
I'LL TAKE DOWN
THE WEBSITE.
MR. MH-RMHPH !
RMHMHPMH !
TOO LATE !
( gunshot )
JESUS CHRIST !
HA HA HA...
HE DIED LIKE A PIG.
SOME PIGS
NEVER LEARN.
NO, WAY !
HE WAS RIGHT
YOU DID CAUSE 9-11 !
YES, QUITE SIMPLE
TO PULL OFF, REALLY.
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS HAVE
EXPLOSIVES PLANTED
IN THE BASE OF THE TOWERS.
THEN ON 9-11 WE PRETENDED LIKE
FOUR PLANES WERE BEING HIJACKED
WHEN REALLY WE JUST RE-ROUTED
THEM TO PENNSYLVANIA.
THEN FLEW TWO MILITARY JETS
INTO THE WORLD TRADE CENTER
FILLED WITH MORE EXPLOSIVES
AND SHOT DOWN ALL THE WITNESSES
IN FLIGHT 93 WITH AN F-15,
AFTER BLOWING UP THE PENTAGON
WITH A CRUISE MISSILE.
IT WAS ONLY THE
WORLD'S MOST INTRICATE
AND FLAWLESSLY EXECUTED
PLAN EVER, EVER.
REALLY ?
WHY ?
THE OLDEST REASON
IN THE WORLD... MONEY.
THE TOWERS FELL AND THE AMERICAN
SHEEPLE ALL WAVED THEIR FLAGS.
FINALLY WE COULD
INVADE IRAQ,
AND GET THE OIL WHICH MADE US
ALL EVEN RICHER THAN BEFORE.
BEAUTIFUL MONEY,
HA HA HAAA !
REALLY ?
IS THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT
IN ON THIS ?
WE ARE ALL-KNOWING
AND ALL-POWERFUL.
GOODBYE, BOYS.
( alarms ringing )
DANGIT, I MISSED AGAIN !
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE,
CHENEY !
KYLE, RUN !
KILL THEMMMMM !
ATTENTION STUDENTS.
APPARENTLY CLYDE COULD NOT
HAVE BEEN THE ONE
WHO CRAPPED IN THE URINAL,
BECAUSE CLYDE HAD A COLOSTOMY
AT AGE FIVE, M'KAY.
NOW, WHOEVER DID THIS
UNSPEAKABLE ACT
IS STILL AT LARGE.
THE BOYS BATHROOM IS CLOSED
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
BECAUSE ONE OF YOU THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA,
TO PULL DOWN
YOUR PANTS, M'KAY,
HOVER YOUR BUTT CHEEKS
OVER THE URINAL,
AND SQUEEZE OUT
A CHOCOLATE HOT DOG, M'KAY.
OH YOU THINK
THAT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
LET ME ASSURE
THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY
ABOUT GOING UP TO A NICE, CLEAN,
UNSUSPECTING URINAL, M'KAY
DROPPING YOUR PANTS,
TURNING AROUND,
SQUATTING OVER
THAT URINAL, M'KAY
MAYBE PULLING YOUR BUTT CHEEKS
APART WITH YOUR HANDS,
AND THEN LAYING OUT
A BIG FUDGE DRAGON
FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE.
OH YEAH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY.
I'M GONNA CATCH
THIS SONOFABITCH
IF IT'S THE
LAST THING I DO, M'KAY !
ALRIGHT, NOW WE HAVE TO
SWITCH OVER TO INNER BUS 65.
WE MADE IT, DUDE.
WE SHOULD BE HOME
IN LESS THAN EIGHTEEN HOURS.
THEN WE'LL TELL EVERYONE
WHAT WE SAW !
IT JUST DOESN'T
SEEM RIGHT.
YEAH, OUR EYES ARE
FINALLY OPEN, DUDE.
IT'S LIKE WAKING UP
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YEAH, BUT DOESN'T
IT SEEM LIKE
WE GOT OUT OF THE
WHITE HOUSE PRETTY EASILY ?
I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE
IT WOULD BE PRETTY HARD
TO ESCAPE FROM
THE WHITE HOUSE
WITH EVERYONE CHASING YOU
AND WE JUST KIND OF...
RAN OUT.
WELL DUDE, MAYBE WE'RE
JUST SUPER BAD-ASS,
HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT ?
HEY !
DUDE, YOU'RE ALIVE ?
COME BACK HERE !
HEY !
AGHGH !
AGHGH !!
AHGH - AHGHGH !!
NO... PLEASE !
DUDE, WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON ?
DON'T KILL ME !
I JUST DO
WHAT THEY SAY !
WHAT WHO SAYS ?
I HAVE A FAMILY !
PLEASE DON'T
KILL ME !
DUDE, WE AREN'T
GOING TO KILL YOU !
( gunshot )
OH GOD !
IT ISN'T
SAFE HERE, BOYS !
FOLLOW ME !
WHO THE F--K
ARE YOU ?
THERE'S NO TIME, COME ON !
DO YOU MIND TELLING US WHAT
THE HELL IS GOING ON ?
WHO ARE YOU ?
I'M A DETECTIVE.
AND I'M AFRAID YOU KIDS
HAVE BEEN DOUBLE-CROSSED.
YOU'VE FIGURED
THIS THING ALL OUT ?
NOT ME...
MY MYSTERY-SOLVING SONS.
COME ON IN, BOYS.
MY BOYS WERE RESEARCHING
WHO WENT NUMBER TWO
IN THE URINAL
AT YOUR SCHOOL
WHEN THEY DISCOVERED
SOMETHING ODD
WHICH GAVE THEM A CLUE.
IT GAVE US
BOTH A CLUE.
THAT CLUE LEAD THEM TO
A 9-11 CONSPIRACY GROUP PARTY.
WHERE THEY GOT
A LOT MORE CLUES.
I WAS GETTING A CLUE LIKE
EVERY TWO MINUTES.
I GOT SUCH
A RAGING CLUE,
THAT I ALMOST SHOT
CLUE GOO ALL OVER JOE.
THOSE CLUES POINTED OUT THAT ALL
THE 9-11 CONSPIRACY THEORIES
COULD BE DISPROVEN
SCIENTIFICALLY.
AND THAT'S WHEN FRANK
GOT HIS BIGGEST CLUE.
IT WAS HUGE.
THAT ALL THE 9-11
CONSPIRACY WEBSITES
ARE RUN BY
THE GOVERNMENT...
THE 911 CONSPIRACY...
IS A GOVERNMENT
CONSPIRACY.
OH JESUS.
WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT
WANT PEOPLE TO THINK
THEY CAUSED 9-11 ?
FOR A GOVERNMENT
TO HAVE POWER
THEY MUST APPEAR TO HAVE
COMPLETE CONTROL.
WHAT BETTER WAY
TO MAKE PEOPLE FEAR THEM
THAN TO CONVINCE THEM
THEY ARE CAPABLE OF
THE MOST ELABORATE PLAN
ON EARTH ?
THAT'S QUITE
ENOUGH, HARDLY !
DON'T BELIEVE
WHAT HE SAYS, BOYS.
WE CAUSED 9-11.
IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE
IN THESE SECRET DOCUMENTS.
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM !
( yawn )
I KNEW IT-
YOU DIDN'T PLAN 9-11
AND YOU DIDN'T REALLY
SHOOT THAT GUY !
BOYS, YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
PEOPLE NEED TO THINK
THAT WE ARE ALL-POWERFUL
THAT WE CONTROL THE WORLD.
IF THEY KNOW WE WEREN'T
IN CHARGE OF 9-11
THEN WE APPEAR
TO CONTROL NOTHING.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH ?
WE DO THAT TOO !
AND MOST PEOPLE
BELIEVE THE TRUTH !
BUT ONE-FOURTH OF
THE POPULATION IS RETARDED.
IF THEY WANT TO BELIEVE WE
CONTROL EVERYTHING
WITH INTRICATE PLANS,
WHY NOT LET THEM ?
JUST ONE THING,
MR. PRESIDENT
HOW THE DEVIL DID YOU
KNOW WE WERE ALL HERE ?
( gun cocking )
HOW COME YOU COULDN'T
JUST GO HOME, DUDE ?
THAT'S ALL
WE HAD TO DO.
STAN !
WHAT THE F--K !
IT WAS ALL
PLANNED OUT.
YOU KNEW THIS
WHOLE TIME ?
WHY ?
BECAUSE IT WAS ME...
I'M THE ONE WHO TOOK
A DUMP IN THE URINAL.
WHAT ?
THE STALLS WERE FULL AND I
DIDN'T WANT TO MISS RECESS !
I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD
TURN INTO SUCH A BIG DEAL !
SO YOU BLAMED
THE GOVERNMENT ?
AND THE GOVERNMENT WAS MORE THAN
WILLING TO TAKE THE BLAME
SO LONG AS IT MADE THEM
LOOK RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11.
AW MAN, NOW EVERYONE'S
GONNA KNOW.
WHY DID THE STUPID
HARDLY BOYS HAVE TO BE
SO GOOD AT
SOLVING MYSTERIES ?
SO, WAIT, WAIT-- STAN TOOK
THE DUMP IN THE URINAL,
AND HE CONTACTED
THE CONSPIRACY WEBSITE,
BUT THE CONSPIRACY SITE WAS
RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT ?
YEAH.
SO THEN WHO WAS
RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11 !
WHAT'DYA MEAN ?
A BUNCH OF
PISSED-OFF MUSLIMS.
YEAH, WHAT ARE
YOU, RETARDED ?
HA HA !
HA HA !
HA HA !
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
THIS MYSTERY IS SOLVED !
IT'S TIME FOR THE CULPRIT
TO FINALLY PAY.
WHEN YOU DOOK IN THE URINAL,
IT'S BAD, M'KAY ?
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
IF SOMEBODY CAME
INTO YOUR HOME, M'KAY,
PULLED DOWN THEIR PANTS
AND LAID A BIG MUD MONKEY
RIGHT ON YOUR MOM'S FACE ?
OH, YOU THINK
THAT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
YEAH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY !
YEAH I'M TOTALLY
GETTING A CLUE.
OH, THAT'S GIVING
ME A CLUE.
YEAH, I'VE GOT A
RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW.
MINE'S POINTING
TO THE LEFT.
OH, FRANK, SERIOUSLY I HAVE
SUCH A RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW
I THINK WE
BETTER FOLLOW IT.

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