2 Ocak 2012 Pazartesi

S12E09 Breast Cancer Show Ever


Children, let's all take our seats.
Before we get started today.
Wendy Testaburger has asked
to share something with the class.
Thank you, Mr. Garrison.
Fellow students,
October is awareness month
for the one of the leading causes
of death for women.
A terrible disease that takes the lives
of american women every day.
I'm talking of course
about breast cancer.
An estimated one in six women
will deal with cancer in their lifetime
and breast cancer is
the most common.
She said it again.
Is there a problem?
Because breast cancer isn't funny.
Breast cancer is killing people.
Do we really need all
of this potty talk in the classroom?
Eric, for the love of Jesus.
This is a serious issue,
what you're doing is very offensive.
Me? You're the one talking
about killer titties.
Watch out guys, Wendy says
boobs can kill you.
- I'm gonna get you.
- I don't wanna get killed by boobs.
Will somebody do something?
Every week he gets worse
and nobody does anything.
Eric, stop being offensive.
I'm trying to engage {\Wendy in}a constructive
dialog about breast cancer awareness.
No, you aren't.
You need to calm down,
you'll get your boobs angry
and they'll start killing everyone.
I'm on fire today!
Look out everyone, there's
some killer titties on the loose.
Could have swore I heard them
coming through the roof.
Officer, we need to get
an APB out on those titties,
- they're armed and dangerous.
- What is your problem?
Breast cancer isn't funny.
Not at all.
Wendy, we're gonna get you.
Where are your bobs?
We're gonna kill you.
You better shut up
or I'll make you shut up.
Really?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna kick your ass,
that's what I am going to do.
You're gonna kick my ass?
That's right,
I am gonna kick your ass.
You want to throw down, dawg,
I'll throw down.
- You think you're tough.
- Wassup? Wassup?
- I'll smack the shit out of you.
- I stay right here, let's go bitch.
After school,
we fight after school, you got that?
You're gonna fight me after school?
- That's right.
- You're a chick, dude.
As soon as that bell rings
we do it outside, you got that?
- And you better be there.
- It's on bitch.
You're gonna fucking die!
Wendy and Eric are fighting
after school. Hey, everybody!
Wendy and Eric are fighting
after school.
What?
Wendy and Cartman are gonna fight
after school.
Really?
Wendy and Cartman
are fighting after school.
Emo kids, Cartman and Wendy
are gonna fight after school.
Did she just call us emos?
Gee, I can't believe,
Wendy gonna fight you after school.
She is pissed off.
She's not gonna show up
to a fight, dawg.
I'm sure she's already tried
to figure out a way to get out of it.
Check it out,
she's totally staring you down.
She sure seems confident, you should
probably go easy on her, dude,
you don't wanna put her
in a hospital or anything.
I'm gonna teach her a lesson,
I'm not gonna totally kick her ass.
Can't go too easy on her,
god forbid she actually gets
a good punch and beat you.
If you get beat by a girl,
everyone would think you're a faggot.
Could I talk to you for a second?
What?
I want to apologize
- and tell you that...
- What?
I want to apologize
and tell you that...
I'm sorry for what I said, okay?
It was wrong of me and I promise you
that it won't happen again.
I don't want to fight you
after school, all right?
So, I'm sorry.
If you're really sorry
you can say it in front of everyone!
Actually I was thinking
let's just keep this between us.
I was wrong to make fun of breast
cancer and I'm very remorsefulness.
No, if you're really sorry
and you want to apologize to me,
then do it in front of everyone!
Apologize?
That's not what I said dumb bitch.
You did, you stood there and said you
apologized and don't want to fight.
Such a desperate attempt
to get out of it.
These students are
a little too smart
to see you're making excuses
to get out of fighting me.
I don't want an excuse. I'm gonna beat
the fuckin' shit out of you.
That's funny, you're going to die,
lezbo.
Seriously dawg,
I do want to apologize,
I'm really sorry
I don't think we should fight.
Get away from me!
So, everyone is saying
there's going to be a fight
between Cartman and your girlfriend.
I guess so.
And you're gonna... just let
at that guy beat up on your woman?
Doesn't that like... go against
your jockey man code or something?
I don't ever remember
AC/DC singing about letting it dudes
beat up on their girlfriends.
What am I supposed to do about it?
Don't worry,
I don't think it's going to happen.
Cartman says that Wendy is begging
him to it call the fight off.
- I'll bet she is.
- I hope that,
I wanna see her
kick the crap out of him.
- What?
- Just real quick, real quick.
You're not gonna believe this,
I just found out my mom
has breast cancer.
Man, I sure got
what was coming to me.
I was a real jerk and now,
they're gonna cut off my mom's boobs.
You really think
that's gonna work on me?
I have here $27 in cash.
- If you just call off the fight then...
- You can't bribe your way out of this.
- I have muscular dystrophy.
- You don't.
My mom has muscular dystrophy
- in her boobs.
- You don't get it asshole,
there's nothing you can do
to stop this fight.
I am gonna wipe the playground
with you in front of everyone.
I'm gonna shove your ass, down your
throat and make you eat your underwear.
- Eat my underwear?
- That's right.
I would eat my underwear,
right here and right now.
Jesus Christ!
Do you have no sense of self-respect?
Unless you want me to, you want me
to have self-respect and I will.
You suck so hard.
I'll eat my underwear
and then you be satisfied
we'll put this whole thing behind us.
- What are you doing?
- I'm committed to peace,
I want you to see just
how humbled I am,
how much I...
Look at me, Wendy.
Oh, my god.
Are we cool?
I ate my underwear,
what the hell do you want from me?
You are so pathetic.
I ate my underwear for you.
Yo, what's up dawg?
- We need to talk.
- What?
Wendy and I are suppose
to fight in like three hours.
- Dude, aren't you worried?
- Wendy is a girl,
she could end up
getting really hurt.
You're my bro and she's your bitch,
I don't wanna hurt my bro's bitch.
I can't do anything,
she really want to fight you.
She doesn't.
She told me she doesn't wanna fight.
She's just stuck. Because she knows
I am gonna kick her ass,
but she feels like if she doesn't fight
me, all the kids will call her chicken.
- Really?
- Now what she did,
she apologized
and begged me not to fight her.
I said if you're so sorry,
say it in front of everyone,
but she wouldn't.
That's how desperate she is.
You have to do something, Stan,
you have to be a man and forbid her
for fighting so she has a way.
Oh, that's where I put those.
Anyway, you've got to put
a stop to this fight.
Wendy's stucked, she needs you.
Dude, there's nothing I can
do about it.
God, you are such a pussy,
Stan, you're such a pussy,
When I hurt Wendy it's gonna be
on your fucking head.
And so you see,
at this point your rip disease
knew he could not win the battle.
<i>I'm going to wipe the playground
with you right in front of everyone.
<i>If you got beat by a girl
everyone would say you're a faggot.
Alright kids for
your homework tonight,
I want you to read chapter 7.
Kick this ass Wendy!
When the bell rings we've got to get out
there and find a good place to watch.
<i>There's no way out, she's gonna kick
my ass in front of everyone.
Almost dead.
And be be ready for a quiz
tomorrow morning.
I totally can't see the fight,
I've got detention after school.
Detention, that's it!
<i>I've got to get detention fast!
Eric, did you just take
a crap on my desk?
What's up?
What's up?
Crapped on your desk doc,
what's up with that?
Welcome to detention mkay?
You're here until your parents
come and pick you up.
Use your time to study.
Sweet.
Eric, what's going on.
Everyone says you got detention
on purpose to get out of fighting Wendy.
What? That's ridiculous.
But some people say you crapped
on the desk to get detention.
- That's not why I did it.
- Why did you crap on the desk?
Because I'm hardcore.
I'm anti-establishment,
that's how I roll, dawg, I do
hardcore stuff like that.
That's what I said.
I told everyone outside
He is not scared of fighting Wendy.
He'd do it if he could.
Damn straight I got all punk rock
and got detention,
- I'm just a bad dude.
- That's good
because we moved the fight
to first thing in the morning tomorrow.
Before school starts.
Everyone is going to get there early.
Your detention doesn't matter.
Get your buns back over here, mkay.
She says she will be there
an hour before school starts,
see you in the morning.
Tomorrow morning, you die
tomorrow morning.
We need to talk to you, right now!
Wendy, have you been bullying
kids at school?
What?
Can you explain why this little boy's
mother had to come talk to us?
Did you tell this little boy
you were going to beat him up?
You don't understand
he said horrible things.
The thing is, I totally said
I was sorry,
but she still wants to beat me up.
No matter what a person says,
you don't respond with violence.
Haven't we taught you that?
The thing is Wendy,
I really think you're awesome,
and I know I'm just
a nerdy little weakling to you,
but I want to be your friend
because I don't have
that many friends at school.
Wendy, you tell this little
boy you aren't going to hurt him!
- Mom, you don't...
- Now, young lady.
I'm not going to hurt you.
If there's any word of you fighting
at school, it's over for you missy,
do you understand?
We're so sorry about this,
miss Cartman.
Oh, no, thank you so much for
your time.
It really won't happen again.
You're very sweet.
Thank you again.
Come on, muffin.
Okay, mommy.
Man, it's almost time for school
to start. Wendy still isn't here.
I don't know what's going on.
I showed up.
Where is she? How come she
is not showing up for the fight.
Here she comes!
What's up, I thought we
were meeting early to fight.
You know I can't fight you.
Why not?
You chicken?
I can't figt you because you came crying
to my house last night with your mom.
That's a dozie, did you come up
with that one on your own.
Yeah, you come up with that
one on your own?
I ain't frontin' dawg, let's do it.
Let's do it right now!
- Come on, Wendy, kick his ass!
- I can't!
God dammit,
she chickened out.
I told you guys!
Oh, I'm glad that's over with.
Yeah, guess who dodged
a bullet, Galahad.
I always knew deep down
Wendy didn't have any ball.
And so we must all recycle
every day.
Recycling is important
and it will save our planet
earth.
The end.
Very nice, Clyde. Okay, we have time
for one more report
before recess, who would like to go?
Thank you.
My report today is on breast
cancer awareness.
I do not believe enough
is being done
and like the victims
of breast cancer,
there's something
i'd like to get off my chest.
We all must fight and hopefully kid
titty cancer will be a distant memory.
You unbelievable bastard.
You beat me, but you won't stop.
What did the breast cancer
say to the polish monkey?
Okay, Eric, that's enough
you smart ass.
Why? Why are you doing this to me?
Why won't you just stop.
>> Wendy testaburger
to the principal's office, please?
Wendy testaburger to the
principal's office.
God!
I've been hearing rumors about a fight
between you and Eric Cartman.
No, ma'am there isn't going
to be a fight.
Oh, no?
Are you sure?
Yes, ma'am.
I see.
I noticed all the things you've done
for breast cancer awareness month.
Did you know
I'm a breast cancer survivor?
Ma'am?
I was diagnosed seven years ago.
Cancer is pure evil,
it is fat little lump
that needs to be destroyed.
When there is a cancer,
you have to fight it.
You can't reason with cancer,
you can't wish it away.
Cancer doesn't play by the rules
so neither can you.
My parents said that if I fight...
And you can't listen to what
anybody else tells you.
You have to be willing
to give up everything
because the cancer
will take everything.
Do you understand?
Yes, ma'am!
When you have cancer,
you fight
because it doesn't matter
if you beat it or not.
You refuse to let that fat little lump
think you feel powerless.
She's gonna fight. Wendy's gonna fight
Cartman right now.
What?
Go deep, Craig.
Not that deep, retard.
She's coming. She's coming.
- Butters get out of here.
- Wendy is coming to fight you.
Boy, here we go.
About freaking time.
All right.
Let's do it!
What's up?
What's up?
Wendy, don't forget
I'll tell my mom on you.
I don't care.
Recess is almost over, I don't know
if there's really time.
Shut up and fight!
Alright, fine Wendy, I'll fight you.
Screw him up, Wendy!
I'm finished.
Somebody, somebody
call the principal!
You have don't have
to say anything.
I know how it is.
I'm no longer the cool kid.
Now you all think I'm a fag.
My school life is over
because now all the guys
don't think I'm cool.
Dude, we never thought
you were cool.
That's not true.
You're just saying that.
No, really, we've always
thought you suck.
Yeah, nothing's changed. Our opinion
of you can't possibly go any lower.
You're just saying that
to make me feel better.
No, it's true.
We've always hated you.
Don't try and make me feel better,
you guys.
Wait, wait a minute,
why would you guys be saying stuff
to make me feel better?
Unless,
unless you do think I'm cool.
What?
If you're all trying to make me feel
better then you must still like me.
I've been so worried about you
guys were going to think of me
getting beat up by a girl.
It turns out you think I'm cool
no matter what!
Oh, God, what a relief!

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