2 Ocak 2012 Pazartesi

S12E11 Pandemic 2 The Startling (Part 2)


{\YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO SEE}
- What's going on, dad?
- You have to move. It isn't...
I'm so...
startled.
{\PANDEMIC 2}
{\THE STARTLING}
My name is Craig Tucker.
Last week was my birthday.
My grandma gave me a check for $100.
I was so happy.
But then, four kids from school
came to my house
and said I should use my $100
to invest in becoming
a Peruvian flute band.
They promised I would double
my money in one afternoon.
But the government arrested us, along
with {\all}the other Peruvian flute bands,
and took us
to an internment camp in Miami.
We begged to go home. But instead,
the government told us
they were sending us to Peru.
And so that is why I am now in Peru.
If I die, let it be known
that it is because four guys
I don't even like from school
lied to me and took my birthday money.
We didn't lie!
It was a sweet idea!
How were we supposed to know
that pan flute bands would be outlawed?
I don't get it. They said
the military would meet us here.
This is where they told us to land.
- Can't you get through to Washington?
- I'm trying.
<i>This is Conner in Washington!
The place that homeland security
told us to start the operation,
there's nobody here to meet us.
It's like they sent us to no man's land.
<i>Jesus, they're everywhere!
What are everywhere?
<i>So furry!
<i>They're attacking
<i>every city.
<i>People dying!
<i>Guinea pigs,
<i>all over!
<i>- Guinea pigs?
- Can't stop them.
<i>Need to get out.
<i>I just ate...
<i>a peanut.
<i>Peanut now stuck
<i>in throat.
<i>I shouldn't eat peanuts
<i>when scared.
I've got the video camera.
Got it turned on again.
This is Randy Marsh.
I'm shooting the video of myself.
20 minutes ago, some
huge creatures attacked our town.
It's still chaos out the window.
I barely made it back to the house.
Sharon is here with me.
And there's Shelley.
Wave to the camera.
Will you put down the camera.
We need to figure out what to do!
I don't know what to do.
I'm so startled.
We have to see
what the news is saying.
<i>This is a shot of New York City
where the giant guinea pigs
<i>- have also attacked.
- Guinea pigs?
<i>Reports of attacks are coming
in from major cities all over the world.
Jesus, this thing is worldwide!
Look at that thing!
What are we gonna do?
- Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
- Go! Run!
We gotta get out!
Michels? Harrison?
Anybody?
Nothing.
Lsat is down, and no answer at RCU.
Whatever is going on out there,
it's huge.
All right, {\just}let me get this straight.
The head of homeland security
ordered you to fly us,
five kids, to Peru,
but had you land way up
in the Andes mountains of Peru
so that other government
people could meet us and then
somehow tell us how to go
to the capital of Peru way over in Lima
and take down their government?
That was the order.
That makes sense to you?
Nope, not at all.
Actually, the whole rounding up
of the pan flute bands
didn't make sense
to any of us either.
None of what that homeland security
guy does make sense!
So, could you just fly us home,
please?
You don't understand.
The plan was to have
a refueling truck meet us here.
We don't have enough gas
to fly anyplace.
That's awesome.
So, we've got to find
another way out of here.
It's starting to look that way.
This is fun.
Let's walk for miles through
a spooky jungle.
It just keeps getting
better and better.
{\You know,}We're getting pretty sick
of your attitude.
Nobody likes hanging out
with people who complain all the time.
Look at that, no lights on, nothing.
It's like humans have never been
to this part of Peru.
More guinea pigs seem to be moving
in from all directions.
We checked on wikipedia,
and found out that guinea pigs are
from the Andes mountains. Here.
What about the pan flute bands?
Are they on their way to Guantanamo bay?
Sir, we believe we have bigger problems
right now than pan flute bands.
Have they been loaded on
to the boats or not?
No, sir.
We diverted all the resources away
from the pan flute bands
to deal with the guinea pigs.
That was an order!
The flute bands were to be put
on boats to Guantanamo last night!
I am still in charge here!
I want those pan flute bands
on the boats to Guantanamo!
Yes, sir.
I don't see why you have
to yell at people.
Darling, main street...
Look at that.
- Where do we go?
- We've got to get out of town.
Go through that way.
My arm! My arm!
- Jesus!
- Randy, run!
Run!
We're running now!
There's Sharon and Shelley running.
Wave to the camera.
Dad!
In there! In there!
Oh, god. I'm so startled.
- Are you startled?
- Put down the...
It's gonna kill us!
Just stay down.
It can't come in here.
Hold on. I need to get
a shot of it from outside...
Where are you going?
Here we see a view
from outside the bus.
What the hell are you doing?
I got a really good shot of it.
I don't know, Lemski.
This entire area of Peru
isn't even charted on the maps.
This whole valley is strange.
Just look at the size of that fruit!
Ain't that a peach?
And how do you like them apples?
Take a look at this!
They look like
beehive combs.
Oh, my God.
- Dude, what is this place?
- It's like an unknown valley
that time forgot where
everything grows huge.
That's a shock.
I decided to follow you guys
and now I'm in land
of the giants lost world.
It isn't our fault! You say that we
always want to be in those situations,
- but we don't have any choice!
- Stuff just happens.
- Stuff just happens.
- That's right!
You just wind up being sent
by the government
to take down the city of Lima to wind up
in land of the giants lost world.
That's right.
You know what stuff happens
to most kids?
They fall off their bikes.
They get in fights with their
parents.
They get swindled out of their
birthday money.
Look, wherever we are, I
think we better keep moving.
Dude, look out!
All right. All right.
Here's Sharon and Shelley on the
roof of Best Buy.
We ran up here
to get off the streets.
We found the Stotch family
hiding out up here also.
There's Chris, Linda,
and their son Butters.
Hello.
What is that?
Chris, what is that?
That's a new sound.
Oh, God.
Look!
- Those aren't guinea pigs.
- Get off the roof!
Go down the stairs now.
Get down the stairs.
<i>And we are now getting word
of giant bees.
<i>The giant bees have been seen
in the U.S. and Europe.
Get away.
There's bees everywhere!
There's another one right there!
Oh, my God!
It stung me! It stung me!
Oh, that startled me!
That was really startling!
I think we're just heading
deeper into the mountains.
Yeah, maybe we should start
heading that way.
I think we're.
Hey, look at this.
What is it?
I don't know.
Looks old.
Let's see what's in there.
Let's see what's in there.
That's why you guys get into
these situations.
Because when you come across a
spooky ancient ruin you say
"let's see what's in there."
- It might be a way out, Craig!
- Yeah, Mr. Complainy Pants.
I don't think anybody's been in
here for centuries.
Yeah, centuries.
You guys look at this!
It's a wall of ancient drawings.
Dude, it's a Peruvian flute band.
I know! And look.
Looks like the pan flute music
is driving away giant guinea pigs?
Oh, no way! Look!
The pan flute bands put in prison.
Just like what happened!
And then the guinea pigs
killing people. And then...
Dude, it's Craig!
What?
That is Craig!
- Dude, Craig, what's going on?
- I have no idea.
Do you mind telling us what you're doing
on an ancient Inca wall, Craig?
I don't know.
There is now word of huge
beehives forming in cities
across the U.S. and Canada.
Europe and China are reporting deaths
by guinea pigs in the tens of thousands.
And how are the efforts to
contain all this going?
It's bad, sir.
It seems we have no way of stopping it.
We've lost complete control.
Sir?
I'm sorry.
I just thought of a funny joke.
All right. Get the jets ready.
I need to get to Machu Picchu.
Machu Picchu, sir?
Yes. I need to be taken to Machu Picchu.
Have you lost your hearing?
But sir, what could possibly
be at Machu Picchu to help...
Am I in charge or not?
We're in the grocery store now.
Some other survivors here.
Can we get through the highway?
The highway's unreachable.
There's guinea rats all over it.
Guinea rats?
What do you mean guinea rats?
There are guinea pigs, but there's also
guinea bees, and guinea rats.
I've even seen guinea spiders
out there.
Randy, will you stop doing that?
Look, I think we need to find
a way out under the city.
In the sewers?
It can't be safe down there.
Oh, God.
What are we going to do?
Something's inside the store!
Guinea rabbits!
There, inside!
They're everywhere!
Help me!
You can't help him.
There's something over there!
It's a guinea bear!
No, it's a guinea mouse, stupid!
Kill me!
Randy, the storeroom!
We've got to get to the storeroom!
Mom, I can't see!
It's okay, Shelley. Daddy's gonna
turn on the night vision.
There, there.
- What? What?
- Nothing. I just startled myself.
Let's head over this way, guys.
You hear that?
It sounds like water.
Yeah, it's coming from up there.
- Dude, that's awesome.
- All right. Let's go.
What do you mean no?
I'm not following you guys anymore.
We have to go check this out.
Why?
Because that's just the way it is.
Every time bad things happen,
you guys end up putting yourselves
deeper into the middle of it, because
"that's just the way it is."
We aren't the ones on an ancient temple
prophecy wall, butt-wipe!
I don't care.
I've decided that I'm done.
I am choosing not to be a part
of this anymore.
How do you do that?
It's easy. Watch.
Craig, dude, wait up.
Dude, Craig, we should go back now.
Hey, look! There's something here!
Nope.
Dude, this is boring.
This is just a bunch of walking around.
Nice and boring.
Just the way I like it.
It's been 3 days now since the guinea
pigs and the guinea bees attacked.
Guinea rabbits are still everywhere.
Along with a few guinea panthers.
We've taken shelter
at the outback steakhouse.
There's Sharon and Shelley.
Say hey, guys.
What is that?
What is that?
I'm going to take a look outside.
- What is it?
- It's a guinea saurus rex.
Oh, my God!
I'm way too startled!
Look!
Jesus, they can't kill it.
What do you think about the
guinea saurus rex, Shelley?
That's good.
There's Shelley with the guinea
saurus rex in the background!
Give a little peace sign, Shelley.
Oh, I know!
Hold out your palm so it looks like
you're holding the guinea saurus rex!
I have had it!
You are putting down
that goddamn camera!
You'll be really glad we have
all this footage of the family some day.
Wait here a minute.
Behold!
I am standing on your precious land.
I've waited a long time for this.
What's he doing?
What of your prophecy now?
Nothing can stop me!
How did you get here?
It's that asshole who sent us
to the jungle with nobody to pick us up!
Sir, is everything all right?
- Shoot them!
- Shoot them?
They're a Peruvian band that escaped!
We must keep them contained!
No, listen to me.
The Peruvian bands were keeping
the guinea creatures away!
All of this is happening because you
got rid of all the flute bands!
I said, "shoot them!"
Goo look!
It's all an ancient incan prophecy.
Maybe we should look at it, sir.
Damn you, Craig!
You just don't ever stop, do you?
- I didn't say anything.
- You see for thousands of years,
horrid creatures have lived
in the guinea valley of Peru.
The incas learned how to keep
the creatures at bay,
by playing pan flute music.
Guinea creatures hate it even
more than humans do.
But the prophecy foretold that one day
the creatures would be unleashed
and I have made that happen!
The incas predicted the world
would be saved,
by Craig,
but that part of the prophecy will
not come true!
For you will all die
on this mountain!
You're some kind of monster!
Oh, I'm much more than that.
Guinea bees, guinea rabbits,
guinea saurus rexes.
I am something much more evil.
Guinea pirate!
Jesus christ!
Sir, I promise you,
I'm not going to ruin your plans.
I'll just walk away. See.
Now there's sparks
shooting out my eyes.
Curse ye, Craig!
Stop!
My name is Craig Tucker.
Last week, I stopped a guinea pirate
from taking over the Earth.
All the Peruvian flute bands
were released.
And drove the guinea creatures
back to Andes mountains.
Many people had died,
but mankind had prevailed.
All over the world,
survivors were found.
Living witnesses to the terror
that had been seen.
Here, look! Look!
What the...
I didn't have a tape in it.
The guinea pirate lived,
but was taken to the prison to live
out the rest of his days.
And people all over the world
learned to support their local
Peruvian flute bands.
And buy their cds,
for they protect us
from the guinea creatures.
As for me, I was returned home
by homeland security.
My parents were so happy.
I realized that we don't always
have control over what happens to us.
We are but players
on the stage of life.
And I also learned to never listen
when people come ask you for money.
That's guy an asshole.
Yeah, what a dick.
I hate Craig!
- Sir, sir we have a problem.
- What now?
The former director of homeland security
that turned out to be a guinea pig,
it attacked the guards,
got out of its holding cell.
My God, are you telling me...
Yes, sir. It broke out of prison.

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