2 Ocak 2012 Pazartesi

S13E06 Pinewood Derby


Park Season13 Episode06</font>
All right. That's 2.8 centimeters. Should
give us a drag of only. 6 milliseconds.
Hold the front here, Stan.
Hey,guys,it's almost 2:00 a.m.
- We know.
Well,it's way past time for bed.
Sharon, Stan's pinewood
derby race is tomorrow!
Do you have any idea how
important this is to him?
Stan is not gonna lose to
the goddamn Hollises again!
Well,it's just a block
of wood and some wheels.
I don't think there's much
more you can do with it.
That's 'cuz you're a chick!
Now just leave us alone!
Don't worry,son. The hollises
are not beating us this year.
I went and got something to put inside
our car and make it go extra fast!
Dad,we're not allowed to add anything to the car
that doesn't come in the approved kit,remember?
Stan,how do you think the
hollises beat us every year?
I'm sure they put lead in the wood or
something. We're just leveling the playing field.
There.
- What is it?
It's uh -- it's
nothing really.
Tom,i'm standing outside the hadron particle
super collider in switzerland,where authorities
Are shocked and baffled over the theft
of a sup conducting bending magnet
created for use in tests
with particle acceleration.
Oh,no. He didn't.
The superconducting magnet
was stolen sometime last week.
Surveillance cameras were able to
record the theft on tape and police
Are now looking for princess
leia organa of alderaan.
Caught here in these photos,the troubled rebel
princess Is seen taking the superconducting magnet
and then appearing disoperated
as she tries to find her way out.
If you have any information
of princess leia's whereabouts,
Please call your local police department.
All right,scouts and
dads. The racing continues.
And it looks like our next heat
is ready to go. Three,two,one,race!
2.1 seconds for tommy bretz!
Looks like we have a new leader,folks.
All right!
All right,stan. We're gonna need to check
in and have our car inspected to qualify.
Now,son,daddy needs to teach you
something very important about tells.
Tells?
When you tell them you
only used the approved kit,
Don't look up and away,don't rub
your neck and don't touch your ear.
Otherwise,they'll know you're
lying to them. All right.
When you need to lie just don't look up
and away,rub your neck or touch your ear.
Dad,maybe we should just take out
the thing you put in the car --
Son,you have to learn how
to lie correctly some day.
Might as well be today. All right?
I love you,son.
Looks good. Thank you and good luck today.
All right. Next,please.
Name?
It's uh
-- marsh.
All right. Car weighs in at 15 ounces.
Do you hereby swear that you used
parts in the official pinewood derby kit
And only parts in the
official pinewood derby kit?
Yes,i do. Yes,i do.
Yes,i do.
All right,young man. Good luck today.
Oooh,yes!
Well,well. Look,son,it's the marshes.
Hey,hollis. You guys race already?
No,little emmett hasn't gone yet.
Think they're saving the best for last.
Clocked her in at home at 1.5 seconds.
It's the fastest car we've ever built.
1.5?
The time to beat is 1.9 seconds.
May we please have --
brewster,marsh,jarvis and hollis.
Only fitting our boys should be going
head-to-head for their match,hey,marsh?
C'mon,stan. You can do this!
All right,kids,are you ready?
Here we go. Last race for the state
championship in three,two,one,go!
You got it,emmett!
oh,yeah! Oh,yeah!
Suck on that,hollis!
This is 9 news at 10:00.
A colorado boy and his father have
set a new record at the pinewood derby.
Stan and randy marsh not
only broke a speed record,
But actually appear to have bent time
and space and discovered warp speed.
A parade was held for
the winners earlier today.
And already offers for commercials and
endorsement deals for the father and son
appear to be pouring in.
Dad,i just you to know I still love you.
He's okay. He's okay. He's
okay. He's okay.He's okay.
Stan Marsh?
- Yeah.
I'm agent clark and this is agent marx.
We'd like to talk to you
about your pinewood derby car.
Aw,crap. Dad!
Young man,what we're about to tell
you is a matter of national security.
Yesterday,every government and embassy on
earth was contracted by an alien life force.
Alien?
Apparently the alien came across your pinewood
derby car and is now heading here to our planet.
What does it want?
We believe that they intend to welcome us
into the galactic federation of planets.
They will want to meet the people who
discovered warp speed for our species.
Stan,did you use all the
damn toilet paper again?
Oh,crap! What? What the you guys want?
We said we only used what was in the kit!
You got nothing on us.
You got nothing on us!
Dad,they aren't here for that!
Hi,i'm randy marsh.
Mr. Marsh,we were just telling
your son that thanks to you,
We have made first contact with alien life.
What?
Hey,hey,sharon!
Nasa has confirmed that an alien ship has
entered our solar system and is headed here.
So guess what?
Our pinewood derby car
found alien life in space.
What? Oh,my god.
Yeah. But I guess it's just a
dumb race like you said,huh,sharon.
The world holds its breath as
an alien ship prepares to land.
Now that our planet has achieved warp speed,
we are about to be welcomed
into the universal society.
All thanks to a father and
son who broke the warp barrier,
Using only the parts in
this pinewood derby car kit.
Mr. Marsh,you are on with
with all the world leaders.
Hello?
Godspeed,mr. Marsh.
The nation of france is with you!
Good ruck wis arien,missa marsh!
Prease say harro from a china!
Uh,okay. Stand by. I think
it's -- I think it's landing.
Our first encounter with
extraterrestrial life is about to happen.
Will it be like in "star
trek: First contact"?
Or will it be more like
"contact" with jodie foster?
I seek the life forms that made this.
That's ours,mr. Alien.
We are the marshes. Randy and stan.
Oh,yeah?
You're gonna build me another one,see?
He's got a gun!
Everyone down on the ground!
Get those hands up! Let me
see those hands! Do it now!
I mean it! Show me those hands!
I'm baby fark mcgee-zax!
The greatest gangster this
universe has ever seen,right?
You can't threaten us!
Who wants it next,huh?
Anyone else on this planet want to be a hero?
What do you want?
I'm on the lamb!
I got the entire federation of planets after
me,but they ain't gonna catch me. You got that?
They might have busted my warp drive,but
you obviously know how to make 'em!
Screw this guy! He can't take out all of us!
I can kill any mug on
this two bit planet I want!
Abunaiii!
You build me a new warp drive
or you'll all gonna get it,see?
Fine! He can build you what you want.
All he needs is the official
pinewood derby kit. Right,marsh?
Uh,yeah. That's all we used,huh,stan?
Oh,boy.
Okay. Let's put the wheels on now,son.
What's taking so long? You're stalling!
C'mon,randy. Just build him the
warp drive and he'll leave us alone!
We're working on it.
Dad,dad,you know we can't make the car go as fast
as before with only the approved pinewood derby kit.
Yeah,thanks,stan. I know that!
Well,we have to tell him we
used something outside the kit!
Do you have any idea how
stupid that will make us look?
All right. That does it!
Hello?
He just blew up our government
building! You've got to hurry!
Mr. Marsh,why won't you
finish the pinewood derby car?
Will you just give us a minute,gal!
C'mon,dad. We gotta come clean!
zats! It's the intergalactic police!
What?
You better get rid of 'em or your
whole planet is gonna get it,see?
You tell 'em you ain't
seen nothing. You got that?
I ain't going to space jail!
Excuse us,earthlings,but we've been in
pursuit of a criminal from xenon galaxy.
Fella by the name of baby fark mcgee-zax.
Uh,no. We haven't seen anything.
Wel,you think anyone else on
your planet might have seen him?
Uh,actually,i happen to be on the phone
with all the world leaders. I can ask.
Uh,yeah,listen,these police aliens
are here and they're wondering
If anyone has seen an alien
named baby fark mcgee-zax.
No. No,we haven't seen aliens.
We've seen nothing here in france.
Sorry. Nobody in the world has seen anything.
Uh,what did this criminal alien do,exactly?
He toll over 600 parsons of space
cash from the universal bank.
You're absolutely sure you
didn't see an alien land here?
No,we're sure.
So then we're the first
aliens you've ever seen?
That's right. Up,you're the first ones.
You don't seem that excited about
your first contact with alien life.
That's right! Oh,my god!
Hey,everybody,we just made first contact!
If you do see any sign of the other
alien or the space cash,you'll --
We will give you a call!
Mathematical semitonal is fine.
Something wrong,sir?
I don't know,daverd.
Just something about that
planet didn't feel right.
All right,son. Now you just paint
that racing stripe like you did before.
I don't need it painted. I
just need it functional,right?
Hey,the right paint job is a big part of
what makes a pinewood derby car go fast.
That's true.
I swear if you don't have that thing working
if three minutes this whole planet is done for!
Dad,it's over. We have to
tell everyone we cheated.
No,i've got it all figured out,son.
You have to kill the alien.
Kill the alien?
I've been filing down this
piece of metal into a shank.
I'm gonna call him over
here to look at the car.
When I do,you shove that in his neck.
No,dad! We don't even know what will happen!
What are you whispering about,right?
Uh,no. That's it. We're done!
Here,come take a look.
- Dad!
Here,see?
Look real close at the axles here.
Yeah! All right,you got him,son!
All right,men. Check the ship!
You see,stan? What did daddy tell you?
Everything worked out.
- I guess so.
It just still doesn't feel right.
But,stan,it's over now.
We'll never have to lie again.
Hey,marsh,get in here!
Can you believe it?
- Oh,my god. Space cash.
Looks like those alien cops were right.
Guess you should call them back now.
Right.
Or what if we didn't call the cops?
I mean,this is a lot of space cash,guys.
Think what we could do with it.
No,dad.
- He's right.
We don't have to call the police back.
All right. Let's get the
cash,put it into boxes --
Dad,what are you doing?
- Will you relax,stan?
Don't sink that you get to keep
all ze space cash for yourselves.
Zat's right. This is all of our
planet,the space cash belongs to all of us!
Either america shares that space cash with the
rest of the world or we will tell the space cops!
All right,fine. Look,there's
plenty of space cash to go around.
Thanks to us,our planet is rich,son!
<i>4 Days Later
Oh,no. No,china. We get to keep the ship.
Because we killed the alien,you boner.
Oh,c'mon,england. You got just as much
of the space cash as everyone else!
Oh,crap! It's the cops. Hang on.
Oh,hey,space officers.
Looks like the alien criminal
did land here after all.
Oh,you were talking about that alien?
Oh,yeah,that one,yeah. He,he landed here.
But we,we killed him.
And so did you find the missing space cash?
No. Space cash? No.
There wasn't any space cash.
Well,maybe someone else on
your planet knows where it is.
Hey,any of you other
countries see any space cash?
No.
- No,no space cash.
Yeah,doesn't look like the
space cash was ever here.
Guess he must have dropped
it off at some other planet.
Probably!
Well,you folk all take care now.
Just one more thing,earthlings.
We had some images done of your planet and it
appears that one of your poorer countries --
Mexico -- has built 32 new hospitals and
seven water parks in the last four days.
Yeah,mexico,you know all us other countries
chipped in and gave mexico some aid.
Yeah. They really needed new water parks.
Have a good day.
Hey,hey,mexico!
We said no spending the space cash yet!
What the hell are you doing?
Will some country that speaks spanish yell
at Mexico, please? They gonna ruin everything.
<i>Pack 12 Pinewood Derby
2009 1st Place Stand Marsh
<i>Father and son set Pinewood Derby record!
<i>Warp speed discovered
<i>Dad and son to greet
visitors from other world!
<i>Derby winner kills alien
<i>China builds 48 new soccer stadiums
no,japan! Will you listen
to eme for five seconds?
If you keep building giant robots,the
cops are gonna ask questions!
Well,then why can england
build nuclear power plant?
Nobody can build anything!
Yeah,well,it's not even gonna matter,
because finland is thinking about
telling the space cops the truth.
What? Finland!
We believe the aliens are going to
find out sooner or later what we did.
It's best we come clean now.
Will you just relax,finland?
Nobody's gonna find out anything.
I'm sorry,but our nation is resolved.
We cannot live with the guilt anymore.
Okay,okay. You're right. You're
right,finland. Okay. You're right.
Can you just let us other countries
talk in private for a moment?
Very well.
All right. You guys,we
gotta get rid of finland.
Yup. We gotta take out
finland. They gonna squeal.
Yup. I think we can all agree,guys.
Yup.
- Yeah.
Aw,dammit.
Uh,hey,space officers. How can we help you?
Well,we're a little puzzled.
Over one of your
countries -- uh,finland?
What? What about it?
It appears to have been destroyed.
What? Oh,my god! Not finland!
Oh,no! No! Not finland!
Hey,guys,finland's dead.
Oh,no!
No! Not finland!
All of finland gone!
Yeah. Somebody better
break the news to norway.
They were really close.
None of you knew anything
about the finland destruction?
No. I mean,odds are they nuked
themselves. You know,suicide.
We didn't say anything about nukes.
Or whatever they did,i'm saying.
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Everyone,i have an announcement to make.
I am giving back my pinewood derby trophy.
What?
- Stan!
The truth is I don't deserve this trophy,because
I cheated on my pinewood derby car.
I used something not in the approved kit.
What?
- Outside the kit?
Not in the approved kit?
He cheated on the pinewood derby?
This trophy isn't mine.
And so I have to give it back.
Because if i'm not honest now,then i'll
have to keep this lie going forever.
And it will just grow and grow.
Well,stan,we're proud
of you for coming clean.
But it doesn't change the fact that
you cheated. Go to your room,son.
Your son seems to have some
pretty inspirational words.
You sure you earthlings
have nothing else to tell us?
Hey,uh,do we have anything
else to tell the space cops?
Nope!
No!
- No changes.
Tell 'em no.
- No changes.
Yeah,no. We've told you
everything,space officers.
All right. That's it,then. Come
on out,sir. It appears to be over.
It's baby fark mcgee-zax!
- My real name is kevirn xaxor.
I am the ambassador to new planet testing.
What the hell are they talking about?
These are not space cops.
There is no space jail.
And space cash is only worth what
you as a planet decided it was worth.
I mean,how stupid is your species?
Space jail? Baby fark mcgee-zax?
It was just a trick?
Whenever a civilization discovers warp speed,
we want to bring them into
the federation of planets.
But first we do the space cash test to
esee if that species is worthy of joining.
Needless to say,you all failed.
People of earth,since you
did not return the space cash,
Your species and your planet
is hereby forever blocked off
and barred from the rest
of the universe. Goodbye.
No,no! Hey,wait! No!
Well,that sucks.

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