2 Ocak 2012 Pazartesi

S12E03 Major Boobage


South Park - Season 12 Episode 3
"Major Boobage"
M'kay, kids,
we have something very serious
we need to discuss today, m'kay?
It appears that some kids are
getting high by choking themselves.
Some kids call it "The
Choking Game," m'kay but,
but choking yourself is bad. M'kay?
Don't do that. M'kay?
You can get high from choking yourself?
Schoolchildren are often experimenting
with dangerous ways to get high,
m'kay, like sniffing glue,
guzzling cough medicine,
huffing paint, m'kay?
But they're all bad. M'kay?
My cousin's in Florida,
and said kids in their school
get high off of cat pee.
Cat pee?
That's not true. You can't
get high off of cat urine, can you?
Well, it's a it's
not actually cat urine,
but male cats,
when they're marking their territory,
spread concentrated urine
to fend off other male cats and...
and that could get
you really high. M'kay?
Really really high. Okay?
Probably shouldn't have
told you that just now. M'kay?
That was probably bad.
All right, this should keep my
cat in place while he spreads the urine.
Yes, poor Mr.
Kitty, are you just so upset right now?
- You guys are wasting your time.
- Yeah, this is not gonna work.
Okay, ready Kenny?
- (All set.)
- Alright.
Bring out... the other male cat.
- Do you feel anything?
- Well, Kenny? Are you buzzed?
(Hay cool! Check it out!)
I see that you're enticed by
my daughter's awesome rocking tits.
(Yeah !)
Then bathe with my daughter
in the fountain of Varnov.
Appease the gods by lathering
her boobs with soapy suds.
(Okay.)
<i>Kenny! Kenny, wake up!
Wake up, Kenny! You all right?
- Kenny!
- (What?)
(What's the matter?)
Dude, that cat urine
really fucked you up.
- You were seriously tripping balls.
- (Hey fuck you, Cartman!)
Agh Kenny! Knock it off!
What's wrong with you? Ah, Kenny!
Dude! Dude, Kenny, calm down!
(How can I calm down?)
(You should've seen those titties.)
- What titties?
- (The titties!)
(They were incredible!)
Kenny, all you did after
the cat peed in your face
was start running around
in circles cheering.
Yeah, then you ran
through town screaming
and started tearing off
all your clothes.
(I must... touch them.)
Dude, I don't think we should be
messing around with that crap anymore.
<i>Next on FOX News!
<i>It's the newest drug craze,
and it's killing your kids!
Killing our kids?
All over America, kids are
getting high... on cat urine!
<i>Huffing cat urine apparently
causes a euphoric state
<i>and is also referred to as... cheesing.
Why "cheesing?"
Because it's "fon to due."
<i>This sixth grade girl said she's been
snorting cat piss for several months.
We sometimes sneak out during
recess and a friend named ___
goes and gets her cats,
and we'll just cheese all day long.
Oh my God! Sheila! Come look at this!
So how can you tell
if your child is cheesing?
<i>1. Your child seems distant,
preoccupied.
<i>2. Your child's face
smells like cat urine.
<i>3. When you see tigers at the zoo,
<i>your child starts
grinding his or her teeth.
You might also notice
by certain phrases your child
says to school friends, such as
<i>"Hey, let's go cheese." or
<i>"Do you feel like cheesing, guys?"
<i>or "Dude, I'm cheesing
my F-ing brains out right now."
Kids are doing this?
<i>Kids do it because it's legal.
<i>What can you do before it's too late?
We have to protect our
children from this, Sheila.
Twenty percent of American
students aged six to twelve
say they have tried
cheesing at least once.
Kids also refer to it as "the
cheese game," or "vitamin cheese," or
"Mary Jane piss in your face fun time."
Cheesing is spreading fast.
Alright, we're all sufficiently scared,
Gerald, but what could we do?
I have written up a bill,
that would make having a cat
illegal in the city of South Park.
Gerald's right. We all have to face it.
Cats are deadly animals!
If you stick your nose up their crotch
and snort their piss, they can kill you!
With my super lawyer powers,
we can rid our town of cats,
so that our kids never get high again!
- Let's hear it for Gerald!
- Hooray for Gerald!
No! No!
Oh wah wah!
Get over it, druggie. Jeez...
Goodbye, Scrambles. We'll miss you.
Got two here.
(Hey! What the hell are you doing?)
- Sorry, these are illegal.
- (What? Hey! )
(Give them back!)
(Give them back!)
Look, I told you, I had a cat.
But I had it put to sleep
'cause it pissed me off.
Mr. Kitty,
you have to live in the attic for now.
Here. Write a diary.
- Guys, have you seen Kenny?
- Nah, I think Kenny's out sick today.
Yeah, and he was out sick yesterday too.
Guys...
I think Kenny isn't here
because he's at home cheesing.
Waww come one. Uh-Kenny
knows how dangerous cheesing is.
Yeah, and where is he gonna find
cats anyway? They've been outlawed.
Yeah, who has cats these days?
Pot's illegal too,
but people still manage to find it.
Ever since that first time
Kenny cheesed, he hasn't been the same.
You've all noticed the change in him.
I'll bet Kenny's a
t home cheesing right now.
Kenny?
Kenny, you home?
(Look at me! Look at me!)
- Kenny !
- (Look at me!)
Whoa boy, he's cheesed out of his mind!
Kenny!
There you go. Wuh try some coffee, Ken.
Kenny, we need to have a serious talk.
(No we don't, guys.)
Yes, we do. We're your friends, dude.
We're not gonna let you ruin your life.
(I'm not ruining my life,
okay, you Goddamned fucking psychos.)
Look at yourself!
You've got to lay off the cheese!
Yeah, that's it little buddy.
Just let it out.
Kenny, I know we're
super-cool and everything,
but if we ever catch you cheesing
again, we're gonna tell on you.
(Eh okay, okay, I just wanna sleep now.)
Yeah, he needs some sleepy night-night,
doesn't he, buddy?
We've gotta keep this away from him.
Mittle Kitty, shhh!
Damnit!
Shhh, Mittle Kitty you have to be quiet,
or else they're gonna find you.
What?
It's the neighbor cat.
He hasn't been caught yet.
No- no, Mr. Kitty.
I know you like Rufus,
but he has to fend for himself.
I can't hide anymore cats, Mr.
Kitty. I'm in trouble enough as it is.
All right, all right, fine.
All right. Come on, Rufus. Quietly.
Oh jeez, no, no, I can't hide you all.
I'm sorry, you'll just
have to find somewhere else to-
Well, I suppose I'll get in just as
much trouble for four cats as for two.
Come on.
Oh my God...
Kyle! Kyle,
can we talk to you for a minute, please?
Yeah?
Kyle, have you been getting high?
No.
Then why did your mother
find this in your dresser drawer?
All right, look, th-that isn't mine.
I'm just holding it for a friend.
Don't lie to us, Kyle?
How long have you been on the cheese?
I'm not cheesing.
I've never cheesed once in my life.
Get up to your room right now
until your mother and I
figure out how to deal with this!
Dad, will you just
listen to me for a second?
- Now, Kyle!
- God!
Gerald, what are we gonna do?
Our son is a cat pee addict.
First thing is we've
gotta dispose of this!
- What are you gonna do?
- I'd better just...
take it down to the basement for now,
make sure Kyle can't find it.
No. No, what am I thinking?
I shouldn't do this.
I've been clean for ten...
years. I haven't even been near a cat.
But then that report said
our kids were doing it too, and...
and I knew Kyle would have
the same sicknesses I used to have...
Now a cat is in our home,
and it's too tempting.
I...
I'll just do it one more time.
One. Last. Time.
Then I'll call the police;
have them pick up the cat.
And then I'll never do it again.
After this one... last... time...
I couldn't stay away.
Curse your rocking tits!
- Who is it?
- Please! Open the door.
They say you are hiding cats.
Hiding cats? Why, that would be illegal.
You don't understand.
My little Nishka She
has nowhere else to go.
Oh oh no no,
I cannot possibly take in another.
But they will find her.
I've already taken in the
Andersons' cats, and the Willinskys'.
There's simply nothing else I can-
Then again...
Perhaps I could find space
for just this one more...
You show such kindness
in such darkest of times.
What the hell?
Kenny, get out of here!
Aw, fa- Kenny!
Bad. Kitties.
Dad! Somebody's at the front door!
Well am I grounded or not?
Fine! I'll get it!
Dude, we've got a big problem.
Cartman says Kenny is really messed up.
He's cheesing his
fucking balls off, dude.
What?
He apparently got to all the
cats Cartman's been hiding in his attic.
What are you doing with
cats in your attic, fatass?
They're innocent victims in this, Kyle!
They have to hide or
they'll be put to death!
Something you just can't understand!
Come on, we've gotta find
Kenny before he hurts himself.
I can't. My dad grounded me.
Wait a minute: where is my dad?
Hey everybody.
Good to see you again.
Hold!
You cannot yet caress
my daughter's awesome boobage!
How come?
There is... another suitor.
What? Get out of here, kid!
(Hey! Fuck you!)
You're too young for this stuff!
This must be decided at
the Breastriary in Nippopolis!
Now fight for the Loc-Nar trophy!
Dad? Dad! What the hell are you doing?
They've been going at
it for a good thirty minutes.
She's mine, you little asshole!
(Whoopdie fucking hoo!)
Gerald?
The key proponent of the cat ban
has been charged with
cheesing in a public park.
Gerald Broflovski is prepared
to give a public statement.
I would like to address
a personal matter:
I have let myself down.
And I would first like
to apologize to my lovely wife.
Don't touch me.
And to the people of South Park.
I was wrong, and I can't
let cats take the fall anymore.
It's our fault. The people
who use cats for their sweet urine.
We have to learn that
cheesing just isn't worth it.
Sure, you get to fight
in the Breastriary,
and swim in the fountains of Varnov
with the itty titty
fairies of Mammary Mountain.
- What the hell is he talking about?
- I have no idea.
And then you fight the
boob goblin in the gazongas cave,
and then the girl may thank you for it.
But she. Isn't. Real.
And you never really get a
good look at her naked boobs anyway.
Problem is, the more you into
that world, the more you need to go.
Until you start blowing off
all the real people who care about you.
(Yeah. I guess so.)
Cats aren't the problem.
We made cats illegal and...
and I cheesed for the
first time in ten years.
And kids are always gonna
find a new way to get high.
Like sniffing glue or licking toads,
or fermenting feces or huffing paint.
- You can also look at-
- Okay, that's probably good, Gerald.
The point is I was wrong.
It's time to legalize cats!
Heh yeah!
Hooray for Gerald!
Let's hear it for Gerald!
Scrambles! So good to have you back!
You ain't sore at us, are ya?
- I'm sure glad that's over with.
- Me too.
But you know,
we've all learned something, you guys.
We can never persecute living beings
and force them into hiding. It's wrong.
And you don't see any parallel between
that and anything else in history?
Mmm... nope. I have no idea
what you're talking about, Kyle.
You guys! Check it out.
It's Kenny.
Isn't that great?
He's just getting high on life.
Yeah.
He's getting... really high on life.
Dude, he's getting super-wasted on life.
Kenny!
What the hell kind of flowers are those?
Kenny? Kenny?
SouthParkNews.Net / SouthPark-TV.Com
Transcript: SPScriptorium.Com

Hiç yorum yok:

Yorum Gönder