2 Ocak 2012 Pazartesi

S12E12 About Last Night…


If there anyone out there tonight
who still doubts
that America is a place
where all things are possible,
who still wonders if the dream
of our founders is alive in our time,
who still questions the power of our
democracy... Tonight is your answer.
Obama!
We did it.
<i>- We did it!
- It's been a long time coming,
<i>but tonight, because of what we did
on this date in this election
at this defining moment,
change has come to America.
Change!
It's change!
Sasha and Malia, I love you both
more than you can imagine.
You have earned the new puppy that's
coming with us to the White House.
We will name him sparkles.
He's so awesome!
He's so perfect and awesome!
Where we are met with cynicism
and doubts and those who tell us
that we can't. We will respond
with that timeless creed
that sums up the spirit of a people.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can!
Yes, I can.
Yes, I can.
Here comes the change, everybody!
- Did you see? Our man is in!
- We did it.
Everything is gonna be awesome now!
This is the greatest day
of our lives!
Yes, we can!
I don't even know what to do now!
I know what to do!
Losers.
Losers!
Losers!
- Losers!
- Oh, shut up!
- Losers.
- We lost?
<i>It is natural.
<i>It's natural, tonight,
to feel some disappointment.
<i>We fought as hard as we could.
And though we fell short,
the failure is mine not yours.
Poor old John McCain.
He looks real sad.
This can't happen!
Steven!
It's all over, Linda!
The country as we know
it is about to change.
We're all dead.
You don't know that!
With an inexperienced man
as president, we do know it!
He's right!
Game over, man, McCain?
We'll probably be dead by sunrise!
Butters, daddy loves you.
Just remember that.
He always loved you.
Get outta here!
Dude, have you seen my parents?
Everyone's out partying
in the streets.
- What's wrong with your brother?
- He was an McCain supporter.
It's okay, Ike. Obama will do fine.
{\1:10AM}
- Mr. President! Over here, sir!
- Congratulations!
- Great job.
- Change.
- Great job, Mr. President!
- Great job.
Thank you all for your support.
If you don't mind,
I'm gonna spend the rest of the evening
getting some much need rest.
Senator McCain?
President Obama.
Boom, baby!
- Man, that was perfect!
- I almost thought
we were gonna tie for a minute there.
That would have screwed us.
You played it perfectly.
There was no way.
It's McCain. We did it.
Obama is president.
Yeah, so I've heard. You guys are out
of your freaking minds, you know that?
We do. Assemble the rest of the team.
We've only got ten hours.
Sure. Hard part's over, right?
Actually,
the hard part's just starting.
Celebrate good Obama, come on.
It's Obama, Obama.
I'd like to make a noise complaint.
Who let the obama out?
Oh, police are here!
Okay, people. Time to disperse.
Party's over.
It's a party!
Come on. Time to go home.
What are you, an McCain voter?
Sorry, pal.
But Obama's president now.
Flip the cop car!
Flip the cop car!
Put down my car!
Yes, we can!
Stop it!
Jesus Christ.
Obama, you're so fine,
you're so fine you blow my mind.
You guys wanna buy a TV?
Bravo, Obama and McCain.
Ten years you two have been working on
this plan and you finally pulled it off.
Guys, we've all known each other a long
time, had many incredible adventures,
but this is going to be
our greatest feat ever.
I knew it!
I knew when you two ran for president
you were just working an angle.
Always working the angles.
My friends, while the entire country
is busy reacting to the election,
we are about to pull off
the greatest heist in human history.
So, come on. Enlighten us.
What are we stealing this time?
The hope diamond.
Rated number four on the ten most
precious diamonds in the world.
Going street value, middle eastern
market, of course, $210 million.
210?
Million.
The hope diamond is ungettable.
Every thief in the world knows that.
Almost ungettable.
The diamond is kept in the Smithsonian
natural history museum
long considered to be the most
thief-proof structure ever built.
The diamond wing is protected
by impenetrable walls
of two-foot wide steel.
On the northeast side,
a seven-five laser system.
There is simply no side
of the Smithsonian that can be breached.
So you go in from the roof.
- Drop into it from the top.
- Can't get to it from the top.
Because of a polymer shelf running
the entire expanse.
You can't get into the museum from any
side and you can't drop from above.
So you can't get the diamond.
Meet the presidential escape tunnel.
A two-mile long underground passage
that runs from the White House
to a location outside the city limits
in case of an attack.
The tunnel is only accessible from the
oval office and just happens to travel
right underneath the Smithsonian
national history museum.
Boom, baby.
You get somebody into that tunnel,
they can blast into the museum,
let the others in.
The heist is on.
So you both run for president,
because one of you has to win
and you've got
your access to the tunnel.
And we run
a particularly brutal campaign
so that the nation is as distracted
as possible over the next eight hours.
This all sounds very risky.
We've spent ten years putting
this plan together.
If we are indeed the greatest
thief club in the world...
and we are.
... we won't get caught.
I'm trying to locate my parents.
My name is Kyle Broflovski.
I know Obama won.
- You gotta get out here!
- What?
Your little brother's climbed out onto
the window. I think he's going to jump!
Oh, my God.
Ike, don't do it!
There's still so much to live for.
I know you really wanted McCain to win,
but it's going to be okay.
That's not true!
The economy could easily stabilize
with Obama's plan.
Don't jump! You could really hurt
your ankle or something.
Really, that's like five feet
off the ground. Don't do it.
Goodbye!
Oh, crap.
All right, everyone.
I'm turning in for the night.
- Go to standard security, team three.
- Sir, we have a bit of a problem.
- What?
- The new president-elect is here.
He wants in to the oval office.
They're all right through here, sir.
Hello. Is there something
we can do for you, Mr. Obama?
Just checking out the new digs.
How are you guys?
Good, sir.
I'd like to see
the oval office, please.
Right now?
I don't waste time, gentlemen.
I've only got 2 months to figure out
how I want to redecorate,
if you know what I mean.
You know, change the drapes and stuff.
Sure. Right this way, Mr.
President.
I will need absolute privacy.
Is that understood?
Thanks.
I got $100!
All right, McCain. I'm in.
Nicely done, b.
We're in position
outside the Smithsonian.
You find the escape tunnel?
I'm already on it.
Boom, baby.
Change!
- Change!
- Change!
Dad, Dad, we have a problem.
Not anymore we don't.
Everything's different now.
No, Dad, we gotta take Kyle's brother
to the hospital.
We don't have to take crap
from the rich fat cats anymore.
Dude, he's wasted.
Hey, it's my boss!
Hey, boss!
Yeah, you know what?
Fuck you!
You heard me, you piece of shit!
I can finally tell you
what I think of you.
Asshole.
- Dad, what are you doing?
- It's okay, Stan! Everything's changed.
I don't need
his stupid fucking job anymore.
You're a little asshole,
piece of shit!
You know what Obama said?
"Yes, we can!"
- Hey, I voted for Obama!
- Obama's not talking about you!
Can someone help us?
My little brother fell out the window!
I just want to say to everyone
who's a little disappointed
that we lost the election
that there's always next year!
Maybe I'll run for
vice president again in 2009!
Mrs. Palin, have you seen
or heard from John McCain?
I don't really know where he went.
Kind of seems a little odd,
I guess, but...
Oh, my phone's going ringy.
Excuse me.
Hello, Sarah.
It's McCain.
I hope you're going to tell me
you're in position below the vault
with the l-7 charges?
I'm in the tunnel now.
Should be almost below the museum.
Just make sure you don't blow
the transformers along with the tunnel
because it will trigger
the 5.4 laser system.
<i>And don't damage any coupling wires
<i>or it'll be worthless
when we shut down the grid.
<i>- I'll be there in 30.
- God, she's awesome.
I guess senator McCain's
gonna fly me back to Alaska now.
He's got a private jet, you know.
Okay. Bye-bye, then!
Bloody idiots.
All right. Here we go.
- What's that noise?
- It's okay. Just construction outside.
We've got a problem.
Hang in there, Ike.
We're gonna get you help.
There's some people.
Listen! Stay back!
Stay back!
We don't have
any more room in the ark!
You have to let us in.
You know the country is doomed.
Who are you to turn us away?
I built this bunker in case McCain lost!
There isn't enough room for everyone.
Excuse me, but we need some help.
I know you do but there's
no more room, I tell ya!
You're going to deny them, too?
God sake's man, they're children!
Look them in the eyes and tell them
you won't take them in.
- Look at their little cheeks!
- Let go of my face, asshole.
All right, damn you.
They can come in!
We don't want
in your stupid shelter.
- Okay, then I want their place.
- Me, too.
We need to get a ride
to the hospital.
There isn't going to be a hospital.
Don't you get it?
Let us in now!
Jeez. It's already happening.
Society's breaking down.
Obama hasn't even been elected
four hours
and already the country
is going to hell.
All right. Give me the keys.
Is there a problem, gentlemen?
No, sir.
Everything okay in there?
Why wouldn't it be?
I'm sorry, but I asked
to be left alone.
Yes, sir.
It's just that your wife is here.
- My wife?
- Everyone's been looking for you.
What on Earth are you doing?
Come on in, darling.
Thank you, boys.
Tell me what's going on.
Michelle, there's something
I need to tell you.
What is it?
Barack, what is it?
The laser system guarding
the diamond
was replaced with an optical relay
three days ago.
You gotta be kidding me!
So the entire diamond vault
is inaccessible?
Is McCain online?
Your guys weren't running
update checks on the security logs?
We need you to do a different scan hack
to the vault relay.
On a new system, in an hour?
Are you nuts?
My job was to pretend
to be married to this bozo
and get you three scan hacks
into a laser system.
It's Sarah.
They did replace the laser system,
but the new one isn't brand new.
It's an old h-7 series.
You can break this baby in 30 minutes.
Tell Davis to get me
an foretrans emitter
and enough pulse drives
to light a spark.
You catch that, Davis?
<i>I'm on it.
We made it, Ike.
You're going to be okay.
There! Just take a seat over there.
Excuse me. My little brother
needs medical attention.
Was he an Obama supporter
or an McCain supporter?
Why does that matter?
Because I'll know if he partied too hard
or if he tried to kill himself.
Ma'am, please. I think my little brother
needs immediate help!
You don't understand, kid.
There's only two doctors on call.
And Dr. Wilson is out celebrating
in the streets somewhere.
So where's the other doctor?
Hey, come on, people!
We can keep partying, can't we?
Yes, we can!
Come on, let's sing!
"Obama well you came and you gave
"Without taking"
- Shut up!
- "But I sent you away Obama
"When you kissed me
And stopped me from shaking".
I've almost got it.
You're only going to have five minutes,
do you understand?
Did you really not like
pretending to be married?
Jesus. Now is not the time, b.
Come on, you have to admit
we had some fun.
My girls need somebody better
than a world class diamond thief.
Wait, there, I got it.
All right, everyone. We're about to go.
So here's the revised schedule...
4:40 a.m., the team gathers
at the northwest exit of the museum.
4:45 a.m., Michelle
hacks the optical relay
allowing me access to the rear doors.
Go!
4:46, from inside I can open the doors
and let in the rest of the crew.
5:10 a.m., at the department of power,
Quincy shuts down the grid,
disabling power to the vault room.
5:12, my grandmother who faked her death
calls in a bomb threat to the museum.
I said I put a bomb
in your building, yes.
5:13, the guards open on the southwest
door checking the museum for any bombs.
5:14, McCain, dressed
as a football player,
enters security and shuts off
the diamond case alarm.
Hey, you! Stop!
Michelle and I head back into the tunnel
and the hole is patched.
5:15 a.m., I walk out
of the oval office
with the diamond securely
hidden in my anus.
All done, thanks.
Boom, baby!
Just one thing.
Don't you think people are going
to be suspicious when you disappear?
Go looking for you?
We hired a guy for that
a couple months ago.
What the hell?
{\DECEASED}
Boom, baby.
Here are all the tickets
for your group, Mr. Sanchez.
Thank you very much.
Well, friends, let us depart.
You guys go ahead.
I just came to say goodbye.
What?
I've decided to hang it up.
Maybe give this president thing a shot.
B., you can't be serious.
Besides, you died in a jet in
the rocky mountains, remember?
Could have been
I didn't make that flight.
What do you say, Michelle?
Would you and your girls like
to move into the White House with me?
You know, settle down, just be president
and first lady for a while?
You're serious.
Who knows, maybe we
could change a few things.
What do you say?
What the fuck!
I just love happy endings.
It's still here.
It's all still here!
Does that mean maybe we overreacted?
No, no. I wouldn't say that.
It's just maybe,
maybe Obama will do all right.
Where are my pants?
Where's our TV?
Where are my pants
and where's my TV?
Dad, your boss called.
He said you're fired.
Goddammit!
Obama said things would be different.
That son of a bitch lied to us.
I knew I should have voted
for McCain.

Hiç yorum yok:

Yorum Gönder