3 Ocak 2012 Salı

S14E05 200 (Part 1)


Our factory works
24/7 to produce candy,
and we have over 500 employees!
Here you can see where the cocoa
is mixed with the sugar and milk!
Wow, cool!
Chocolate rules.
You should know, fat ass.
Ay!
I'm not fat, you sneaky jew!
Oh God, you guys,
really? This again?
And here is where all the
Fudge is put into boxes
to be shipped all over the world!
Kinda like Cartman's
dad shipped out on him.
I have a dad, butthole!
My mom is my dad!
You guys, stop!
All you're doing is rehashing
a bunch of old stuff!
Hey Stan, isn't that Tom Cruise?
Huh?
Oh wow, it is!
Hey guys, check it out.
Tom Cruise is a Fudge packer.
What did you call me?
Hey, that is Tom Cruise!
How come you're packin' Fudge,
Mr. Cruise?
I'm not a Fudge packer!
Dude, you don't have to
be ashamed or anything.
But I'm not a Fudge packer!
Then why are you packing Fudge?
I'm not.
I'm a very busy actor!
I'm just here trying to get away for
a weekend and do some fly fishing!
Dude, you are in a Fudge
factory packing Fudge.
Oh that does it.
I will sue you!
For what?
You can't just call somebody a
Fudge packer, and get away with it!
Hey is that Fudge
packer Tom Cruise?
That's it!
I'm suing this entire
intolerant town!
- But dude...
- no buts!
You wanna accuse somebody
of being a Fudge packer,
you're gonna pay the consequences!
Guys, I wanna really thank
you all for coming.
Shockingly, I've just been slandered
once again in the town of South Park,
something I know you
all can relate to.
Sure can.
That damn town.
I can't believe it.
That town just seems to be a
hotbed of hatred and lies!
I'm fed up with it.
That town suggested
I was made of shit.
Yeah.
Well, I was just over there
doing some fly fishing,
and this little boy walks up
and calls me a Fudge packer!
Oh man!
That's crazy!
So wrong!
I know, right?
And then other kids in the town and
their teacher start joining in!
South Park, Colorado is
the most insensitive,
racist and bigoted
place in this country!
That town thinks they can say
whatever they want about people
and get away with it.
If anybody has a gripe
against that shit it's me.
Yeah, well, I say enough.
All of us together can
put a stop to the slander
coming from that town
once and for all!
No longer will they make snide
remarks about whoever they want!
Yeah!
Hey, Tom, I ate too much subway.
Where's your bathroom?
Oh just the door down
the hall there, Jared.
No, no, that's a closet.
Go down more.
No, that's a closet too.
No, Jared, that one's a closet.
No. That's a closet.
No, that's a closet.
Stan Marsh to the principal's office.
Stan Marsh come to the
principal's office immediately.
Dude, what'd you do?
I have no idea.
You just had to push it,
didn't you, Stan?
You just had to make fun of Tom
Cruise again!
Did you call him a Fudge packer?
Aww, he was packing Fudge!
Little boy, you don't
understand how serious this is.
Tom Cruise has put together
a class action lawsuit
along with 200 other celebrities!
They're going to Sue the bejeezus
out of this entire town, mkay?
It wasn't just me.
Other kids called him a Fudge packer,
even Mr. Garrison.
But you started it.
Mr. Broflovski,
tell him what you told us.
Stan, a class action lawsuit
means the end of this town.
We can't possibly go up
against their lawyers.
Dammit, Marsh, why couldn't you have
just kept your stupid, ugly kid in line?
Hey, don't start blaming
me for his looks!
Mr. Cruise, my son is so, so sorry,
and he would do anything to
take back his hurtful comments.
That's nice.
I'm still suing you all!
Nobody calls me a Fudge packer!
Yes, it was a terrible mistake.
But maybe you could see how...
since you do...
take Fudge and pack
it into a box...
What?
Well, I'm just saying that
you are employed currently
as a person who packages...
I'm an actor!
I do not pack Fudge. Right.
My son just got confused,
because you have a little uniform,
and a hat that says 'Fred's
Fudge and candies.'
and you are...
Look, it doesn't matter.
Just please withdraw the
class-action lawsuit.
Nobody in our town will ever
call you a Fudge packer again.
There is one thing
that your town could do
to maybe make me forget
about this lawsuit.
Anything!
Anything you want, Mr. Cruise!
There's just that there's somebody
I've always wanted to meet.
Face to face.
If you could get him to
show up in your town...
Sure!
Who is it?
We can get anybody for you!
Muhammad.
The prophet of the muslim faith.
Oooh!
That's tricky.
Well, then you can just get sued!
Mr. Cruise, if there's anybody else we
could try and bring to town we could...
No! Just him!
You get Muhammad to appear in South Park
or your little town is done!
Okay, people, I know, I know!
But he will get the other celebrities
to withdraw their lawsuit
if we just get Muhammad
to appear in South Park.
Are you nuts?
If Muhammad appears in
South Park, we get bombed!
Yeah! That's right!
You tell 'em.
Now, we don't know that!
Maybe enough time has passed that
now it's okay to show Muhammad.
Dude, I can't believe we are dealing
with this Muhammad thing again.
But even if it were safe
now for Muhammad to come,
how would we ever find him?
Yeah, showing an image of him
is completely off limits
and censored so nobody has ever
seen what Muhammad looks like!
I saw him once.
You did?
Yeah, a while ago my friends
joined David Blaine's cult.
I had to go to the super
best friends to rescue them.
Muhammad was one of the
super best friends!
Oh, and what, and he was
just out in the open
where everyone could see
him and nobody got bombed?
No, dude, it was totally fine.
Muhammad showed up and there
was no violence at all?
Well, a giant John wilkes
booth shot Abraham Lincoln...
Alright, Stan, that's enough!
Jesus, you can't learn
to shut up, can you?
Now look, I believe
we can find Muhammad.
I've done a lot of research,
and I've completed a sketch of what
Muhammad could look like today.
No, don't!
Is that okay to show?
I don't know.
I guess we'll see.
Tom, what is up with
this Muhammad thing?
It doesn't make sense.
Yeah, you said we were
just suing South Park!
No, I said we were going
to use South Park
to make sure we never
got ripped on again.
Look, people,
all of us get ridiculed,
but who is the one
person on this earth
that is completely
free from slander?
You want Muhammad because
he can't be ridiculed?
Muhammad has a power that makes him
impervious to being made fun of.
What if we could
harness that power?
Jimmy buffet!
How would you like it if nobody
could call your music drunken
frat boy monkey garbage?
I'd love it.
By taking what Muhammad has we
would all be safe from ridicule.
Like TimBurton here!
Imagine it, Tim,
nobody could rip on you
for all the rehashed
movies you've made lately.
There'd never be a tv show
that pointed out you haven't
had an original thought
since beetlejuice and
you put Johnny depp
and the same crappy
music in every film
and that if you're that
in love with Johnny depp
you should just have
sex with him already.
A tv show could never say that?
Gee, that'd be swell.
Well, it can be a reality.
Once we have Muhammad,
we can take his power from him!
Excuse me.
This is the home of
Tom Cruise, right?
Hey!
It's one of the kids from
South Park that slandered me!
I didn't come for myself.
I'm just an escort for another celebty
that wants to get in on your lawsuit.
Who?
Allo!
Jennifer Lopez!
Hey Jen!
Ahh!
Wow!
Yes, I am Hennifer Lopez,
and I like tacos and burritos!
In the great hall of
the super best friends
there are assembled the leaders
of the world's biggest religions!
Jesus!
Buddha!
Krishna!
Muhammad!
Lao Tsu and Joseph Smith!
And the mighty semen!
It's not semen.
It's sea man!
Their mission,
to right that which is wrong!
And to serve all mankind!
Jus, all we are asking to do is bring
Muhammad to our town for like an hour.
My son, much has changed
since you were last here.
Muhammad cannot make
public appearances.
We simply cannot risk any
violence from the muslim people.
Aw, not you guys too!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Later at the hall of
the super best friends!
Okay, will you let Muhammad
come to South Park
if we dress him up like a pirate?
No, muslims would still be
angry you showed his face.
Kay.
What if we cover his
face with a paper bag?
No, because you'd still be
showing him walking around.
That could be trouble.
Okay. A suit of arr.
We just had muhmain a suit of
armor so you can't see anything.
But it's still muhaad walking
around in human form.
Come on, this is ridiculous!
Boys!
You must understand,
that people get very offended
when Muhammad be mocd cause
he is a religious figure!
Buddha, don't do coke
in front of kids!
A u-haul. What if we bring Muhammado
South Park in the back of u-haul
and he just stays in
there out of sight.
But he's talking from the u-haul?
Wul, yeah, he's gotta talk or
nobody knows he's in there!
Hearing his hoice, I dunno.
What do you think, Moses?
Um. Would there be
windows on the u-haul?
There d doesn't have to be.
Umm, I guess.
I guess that would be okay.
Here it is, friends!
Once we have Muhammad
this machine will give us his
power to not be made fun of!
Tom, Tom, you're talking crazy, mate.
Only Muhammad has that ability.
How could we ever get it from him?
We take his goo.
It'as simple as that people.
Rob reiner has been
telling me about the goo
which is inside every
person on earth.
Any goo can be harvested
from a person's body
and easily placed into another.
Wait.
You mean we aren't gonna Sue
and get a bunch of money?
No, Jen!
We've all got enough money!
Yes, who needs more money?
We need to get Muhammad's goo!
Yes, yes, arriba arriba!
Uh, excuse us for a second.
Alright. Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?
What am I doing?
Just having some fun, cholo.
Cut the crap.
I thought we were here
for lawsuit money!
Just keep your mouth shut,
and do what I tell you.
If we're staying here then I
want to know what's going on.
Don't forget I know
who you really are.
Mitch Conner.
If you know what's good for you,
you'll keep your mouth shut, kid.
You're a no good swindler
and a two-bit thief.
We were here for money, not goo!
Think about it.
Muhammad is the only person in the
world that can't get ripped on.
Those celebrities want his goo.
Yeah, so what?
You know what that goo is
worth on the open market?
Hell, I got people in Hong Kong
would give me 50 mil for that goo.
So we let them take it from Muhammad,
then we steal it for ourselves.
You catch on quick, kid.
Mrs. Lopez?
Someone's coming.
Get my wig back on!
Hey, I was just seeing
if you needed some...
Oh God, you found my
Fudge packing uniform.
Ohhhh, your secret is
safe with me, Tommy.
Boys, we are so sorry
for doubting you.
You really did bring us Muhammad.
Thank you so much
for coming, muhamma
welcome.
Ooh, is that okay?
I don't know.
Alright.
Now we just need to figure out
how to get Muhammad from the back
of the truck into Tom Cruise's limo.
What?
No, dad, we promised Muhammad
would stay in the truck.
Cruise's lawyers were
very specific, boys.
He's sending a limo for Muhammad
to meet him outside of town.
But Muhammad can't be seen dad!
Alright. We'll put
a sheet over him.
No, you can't even show his feet.
How about a Halloween costume
with one of those plastic masks?
No, you could still see his eyes.
Okay. How about like
a big mascot outfit.
One that covered him completely
head to toe, not even showing
his eyes.
Muhammad, would that be okay?
Okay.
Tom, Rob!
We've just received word from
the lawyers.
South Park is saying they have
Muhammad for us!
Rob, will the machine be
ready?
Oh, it'll be ready!
More tacos!
I want more tacos!
No!
No more tacos, miss Lopez!
More tacos!
You just had seven tacos!
I want more tacos!
I'm sorry.
Why are you doing this?
I am Jennifer Lopez.
I need tacos to live!
You know God damn well you're
not really Jennifer Lopez.
Now stop pissing me off!
Miss Lopez, I can go.
What'dya want like three tacos?
Oh, thank you, haeen!
And maybe an enchirito too?
Aw Jesus, they don't even
make enchiritos anymore!
Yes, they do!
No, I tried getting one last week.
Not all tacos bells have enchiritos
but some still carry them.
God, will somebody shut her up?
Alright, the limo's here.
Muhammad, thanks again
for doing this.
You've done this town
a huge favor, Muhammad.
Hold on a second! Stop!
There are some
extremists threatening
that if we give Muhammad
to the celebrities,
they're gonna bomb us!
What?
Oh, it's just a stupid
threat, come on.
We don't wanna piss
of Tom Cruise again.
Alright, we got him, Tom!
Muhammad! Are you okay?
What the hell was that?
Obviously the
terrorists are for real!
What does that paper say?
We have placed bombs
all over your city
you will give Muhammad to us.
Celebrities want Muhammad for
his power to not be ridiculed.
We want that power.
"Hazaa."
They want his power?
What kind of extremists are these?
You won't believe it.
Our time is near!
Soon gingers will never
be made fun of again!
Hazaaaaaaa!
Where the hell do you
think you're going?
I'm through with your
stupid plans, Conner.
I've got better things
to do with my time!
You're gonna walk
away from 50 mil?
Let me by.
You walk away now and you'll
regret it the rest of your life.
Screw this, Conner.
Find yourself another partner.
Then I guess I won't
tell uaburrathe!
My father?
Thought that might
get your attention.
You know nothing
about your dad, right?
I know enough.
My mother is a hermaphrodite.
So she is actually my father.
You really still
believe that garbage?
The people in your town
sold you that line!
Come on, you've had to
have doubted it all along.
How would you know anything
about who my family is?
Huh, I know all about the swindles
and schemes in this dead end town.
You got lied to, kid.
By the people who
were closest to you.
I can prove it, too.
But I'm gonna want
something in return.
If you're making this up to keep me around,
Conner, then you better...
You just take me where I tell you.
And when you learn the truth,
you'll learn to trust me.
And nobody else.
Alright. People, try to evacuate
in an orderly fashion. Jeez.
Hn
mayor, we do not have the resources
to deal with this situation.
A full evacuation is impossible.
Jesus Christ,
what are we supposed to do?
We have to give in to the demands!
I'm sorry, Muhammad,
but we're going to have to
give you over to the gingers.
We can't hand him
over to the gingers!
Yeah, we said we'd
take care of him!
But our homes and
lives are at stake!
Dad, we mad a promise. To Jesus.
Stan, Jesus doesn't matter
where Muhammad is involved.
That'll be Tom Cruise.
Hello?
Yeah, so what's going on?
I'm afraid we can't
give Muhammad to you.
What'dya mean you're
not giving him to us?
There are these ginger
fundamentalists saying
if we don't give Muhammad to
them they're gonna bomb us.
Gingers?
Gingers! Oh hell no!
Please understand that we have
no choice here, Mr. Cruise.
You're gonna give Muhammad
to gingers instead of us
just because they are
threatening you with violence?
Wul, yeah.
Oh we can play that game too!
You wanna see violence, you got it!
God damn stupid assholes!
They wanna play rough?
Okay!
Spielberg go and get
some automatic rifles!!
We'll go in there and we're
gonna take Muhammad by force
and we're gonna show 'em.
Tom!
Tom!
We can't be seen getting violent.
Yeah, that would kill
all our careers!
But the only way we're
gonna get Muhammad now
is by getting just as violent
with South Park as the gingers!
Fine. Then let's have her do it.
Her who?
You know, her.
Oh, right, her!
There she is, Tom.
Barbara streisand.
My God!
She's even more terrifying
than I remembered.
Tom, Barbara streisand hasn't
been active for a long time.
Are we sure we wanna do this?
Mrs. streisand was blown apart
in the town of South Park.
She's probably more angry
at that town than any of us.
Power her up.
Release the kiken!
Bar-boora!
Barrr-boora!
Ichiban kirai na hito.
Bar-boora, bar-boora!
Hana ga ookii!
Hey Barbara!
It's me, Rob reiner.
Listen, babs.
We're taking on the town of South
park and we really need your help.
We figured you're pissed off at
South Park too, right, Mrs. streisand?
Oh she's pissed alright.
Eric?
What are you doing here?
Did you all lie to me?
All of you, in that room.
When you told me my
mother was my father.
What? No, Eric.
Are you still worried about
that ol' issue, I mean...
I don't trust you.
I want to talk to Mr. Hat.
Eric, I haven't used Mr. Hat
in a long time and...
I said get Mr. Hat!
Put it on.
Do the voice.
Hello kids!
It's me, Mr. Hat.
Good to see you, Hat.
Hell of a night, isn't it?
I... I don't believe I know you.
The name's Mitch Conner.
Flew the same division
as you back in Saigon.
Eric, this is silly.
Why don't we just stop...
Keep your hand up.
Alright, gingers.
We have Muhammad for you.
Now hand over the detonators.
Nuh-uh!
First you gotta prove that's
still Muhammad in there.
Have him step out
of the bear costume.
Ooohh.
Dude, we can't do that.
Show us it's Muhammad or
South Park is finished!
Dammit Mitch, you're asking questions
that shouldn't be answered.
So you admit it.
There was a cover up.
No, Mr. Hat, don't say anymore!
Yeah!
Tell him what you know!
Alright, Eric.
Your father was in the room
the day of your DNA test.
But the results were tampered.
By who? Goddamnit, Garrison.
Who is my father?

Hiç yorum yok:

Yorum Gönder