You wanted to see me,
Principal Victoria?
Yes, Mr. Garrison. Have a seat.
Mr. Garrison, sometime ago
you asked to be promoted from
teaching kindergarten
back to the third grade.
I'm aware of that.
I wanna come clean with you
and tell you that back then
some of us were uncomfortable
with your sexual preferences.
It was wrong of us, and I
want to make it up to you.
Wow, that's... really great to hear.
As you know, the position of Fourth
Grade teacher has become available,
and we'd like to offer YOU the job.
Oh, for real? You're not kidding?
We in administration see now that you are
an individual with your own preferences,
and we respect that.
Hoh, this is all just...
this is a dream come true!
Thank you, Principal
Victoria! I'll do a great jub!
I know you will.
You're sure this is for real? I mean,
I'm not gonna just get fired
again for being gay tomorrow.
It's for real, Mr. Garrison.
Oh-ho, great!
With all the new laws we could
never fire you for being gay now.
You'd be able to sue us
for millions of dollars.
Right uh- Wha-
...what was that?
Well, I was just saying that
the policies have really changed.
You know, we fire you
for acting gay next time,
you'd be able to sue the school
district for...lots of money.
...Oh right, right, right, I... Huh
How much money, exactly?
Oh. Well, there was the case out
in Minnesota where the guy was
awarded... 25 million, I think.
Yeh-you don't say.
Well thanks, uh, Principal Victoria.
Holy Moley! I've gotta find a
way to get fired for being gay!
M'kay kids, I know the past
few weeks have been really
hard with the death of your
teacher, Ms. Choksondik.
BUT... the principal has finally
hired a teacher to take her place.
So I want you all to give your best
behavior to your new Fourth Grade teacher,
Mr. Garrison.
Not him!
Thank you, Mr. Mackey.
Good luck, m'kay.
Okay, children, now for those of you
whoare new, my name is Mr. Garrison.
Where is Mr. Hat, sir?
Well, I was informed that fourth
graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat.
Two-year-olds are
too old for Mr. Hat.
But it's okay because I found
a new teacher's assistant.
Say hello to... Mr. Slave.
Hi kids. Hm.
So that's Mr. Slave.
the teacher's assitant.
Or, as I like to write for short,
the Teacher's Ass.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Okay, Mr. Slave. Go
sit until I need you.
Dude, I think that Mr. Slave
guy might by a... Pakistani.
I'm not saying the rest of
the school year will be easy.
In fact, it's going to be long and hard.
Really long and really hard.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Eheh, the first thing we're gonna be
learning about is communist Russia.
No, Kenny. What are you doing, Kenny?
Now, Stalin was a big
silly when it came to...
Kenny, no! Don't do it, Kenny!
Eric, did you just
throw a paper airplane?!
No, it was Kenny!
Very funny, Eric! Kenny's dead!
Yeah, but Cartman drank
Kenny's remains, and now
Kenny's soul is trapped
in Cartman's body.
That does it! I will not put
up with foolishness in my class!
It's time for punishmenmt!
Take it Mr. Slave!
Oh-oh. Oh it hurts.
I will NOT put up with TOMfoolery
in my CLASSroom, children.
Mr. Slave, put this
rubber ball in your mouth.
Take that, Slavey! take it!
This'll get me fired for sure.
I really enjoyed the imagery in the
last chapter of this month's book.
Yes, and I really saw the entire book
thematically as a take on corporate America.
Well I think in the
fourth chapter, when uh
Nancy Drew discovers the bloody
glove in the cheerleader's locker,
well that uh that was just a
brilliantly written passage.
So full of metaphor.
Hey guys, can we talk to you?
Oh, hi boys.
How was school?
Uhh, not cool.
That's great. We're having our
book of the month club meeting,
so why don't you boys
go outside and play?
Was it me, or did you all think
that Nancy Drew solved the riddle of
Elephant Mountain a little too easily?
No, no, he said not cool.
We got our new teacher today; it's, it's
Mr. Garrison, our old third grade teacher.
Well, he has this new teacher's assistant,
and uh and they're both... totally gay.
Kyle! You know better than to
discriminate against homosexuals!
Yeah but, these guys
are really super-gay.
Aw I'm surprised at you, Stanley.
I really thought you knew how to
accept people for what they were.
Yeah, but Dad-
No buts, Stanley! We're not raising
our kids to be discriminators!
That's right! I think it's time you kids
took a little trip to the Museum of Tolerance!
Welcome to the Museum of Tolerance.
Here we try to educate you on the dynamics
of racism and prejudice in America.
Now, did you know that words
we use can show intolerance?
Let's begin our tour with a walk
through our Tunnel of Prejudice,
to show you what it can feel
like to be discriminated against.
QUEER.
BEANER.
CHINK.
NIGGER.
HEEB.
FAGGOT.
CRACKER. SLOPE.
Aw man, this is awesome!
Now you know how it feels.
I wanna ride again! I wanna ride again!
We are now entering
the Hall of Stereotypes.
These wax figures represent how some
intolerant people have labled minorities.
Here we see a black person
eating chicken and watermelon,
a stereotype that hurts the
African-American community.
What other stereotypes do you see here?
Ah, here's the Arab as a terrorist.
That's right. But of course, we know that
all Arabs are terrorirsts, don we, kids?
W- w-well there's an Asian
over there with a calculator.
That's right. Not all
stereotypes are negative.
But even a positive one like "All Asians
are good at math" is harmful to society.
Look, a covetous Jew!
Very good, young man.
The idea that Jews are only
interested in money is very old indeed.
Ah, here's a good one. It's the
stereotypical "sleepy Mexican."
Wai-what? Oh man, what time is it?
Oh I'm sorry. I thought
you were a wax sculpture.
Naw, man. I'm the janitor. I'm s'pose to be
cleaning but I'm so tire. Ongh, so sleepy.
This is our discovery wing.
Take your time at the computer
displays, because you see,
being tolerant you must also
respect people who are small,
people who are disabled, even people who
are overweight, like this young man here.
You other boys have probably
called this young man names like
"tubby," or "lardbutt,"
or "fat tits,"...
"Fat tits." That's a good one.
Yeah, I have to remember that.
But you must learn to be tolerant
of his differences as well.
If he chooses to eat fatty
foods, that's his life choice.
I'm not fat, I have a
different life choice.
And we won't belittle you for eating
lots of cookies and cakes and pies.
Duhuhude, tolerance kicks ass!
That's our Cartman.
Well, that's the end of our tour.
Now do you see why tolerance
is so important, boys?
I guess.
We have to accept people for who
they are and what they like to do.
Hey! What the hell are you doing?
Oh I was just uh-
There's no smoking in the museum!
But I'm not in the museum.
Get out of here, you filthy smoker!
Yeah, dirty lungs!
Go ahead and kill
yourself, stupid tar-breath!
Dumbass!
Get out of here!
Well, have a great day, everybody.
Now you boys can go and give
your teacher and assistant
the respect they deserve. Right?
Yeah.
Okay, children, let's take our seats.
Uh, apparently, none of you
tried to get me fired yesterday,
so I guess we're just gonna have
to go on and learn more today.
Now who can tells me
what happens to water
when we heat it up in the Bunsen burner?
It evaporates.
Good, Butters.
Now if we take the glass
tube of the Bunsen burner,
we can also see how other things react.
Evaporation is an exothermic reaction,
so let's look at an endothermic one.
Mr. Slave, position 7 please.
Now I'm gonna put the glass
tube under Mr. Slave's tight ass.
The heat from Mr. Slave's ass will
act as our new conductor of energy
Okay, now Butters, could you bring
over Lemmiwinks for me please?
Sure.
Oh, no, noo, no no no no.
Newton was the first to discover that
for every action there's a reaction
thank you Butters.
Now what do you think is gonna happen
when I introduce the element of the gerbil
to the endothermic
heat of Mr. Slave's ass?
Well let's see.
AAH. AAH. Dude! Jesus Christ! AAH!
Lemmiwinks? NO!
Hello there, children!
Hey Chef.
How's it goin'?
Bad.
Why bad?
Chef, we're intolerant.
...Intolerant of who?
Gays, I guess.
Now why do you wanna go be
intolerant of gay people, children?
I thought you knew better.
Well we didn't think we were, but
Mr. Garrison has this new assistant,
and we're really
uncomfortable around him.
Children, a lot of times
the reason get uncomfortable
around gay people is that
they have some issues themselves.
You have to ask yourself,
What is it about their behavior that,
for some reason, makes me unconfortable?
Well, I guess it's mostly the way Mr.
Garrison stuck a gerbil up Mr. Slave's ass.
Right. And you see, children,
that's why you need to
Whoa! What?!
Are we homophobes now?
We don't wanna be gaybashers, Chef.
Children, there's a BIG difference
between gay people and Mr. Garrison!
Do you understand that??
N- no?
You children just take your lunches.
I'm gonna have a talk with the principal.
I'll take three lunches today, please.
You don't need three lunches,
Eric! You're fat enough as it is!
It is my life choice, Chef, and if you
don't tolerate it I'll report you to the SEC.
That was a brilliant idea, having me
put a gerbil up your ass, Mr. Slave.
Now we'll get fired for sure!
Well it wasn't the first
small animal I put up my ass.
Mr. Garrison to the
principal's office, please?
That's it! They're gonna
fire me for being gay!
Twenty-five million here we cooome.
Don't forget, I get half.
Oooooh! Oooooh, Jesus Christ.
Lemmiwinks, you must find a way out
of this place, or you will surely die.
This way has been closed
off by the Great Sphincter.
To escape you must journey
upward to the dark reaches
of the intestine and past the stomach.
Who am I? Just a friend.
Heed my words, Lemmiwinks.
Your time is running out.
Make for the large intestine.
All will be made clear then.
<i>A great adventure is
waiting for you ahead.
<i>Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks,
or you will soon be dead.
<i>The journy before you may
be long and filled with woe
<i>But you must escape the gay man's
ass so your tale can be told.
<i>Lemmiwinks. Lehehemiwinks
Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks-
You wanted to see me,
Principal Victoria?
Oh yes, uh, Mr. Garrison, have a seat
Oh dear, sounds like I'm gettin' fired.
Mr. Garrison, Chef has brought it to my
attention that some uh students are a bit...
uncomfortable about certain
aspects of your teaching meathods.
Oh no, you're firing me?
Oh well, I can't stop being who I am.
I can't help the way God made
me. Guess I just have to go.
Nonono we're not firing you.
...You're not?
No, we're sending Chef
to a tolerance seminar.
Sending Chef to a tolerance seminar?!
You've got to be fuckin' crazy!!
You demostrate a lack of tolerance
for Mr. Garrison's behavior. In fact,
I believe you used the words "sick
queer" to describe his conduct in class?
He IS a sick queer!!
Yeah!
I just wanted to give you an
opportunity to apologize to Mr. Garrison
before I send you away, Chef.
Kiss my black ass!!
Parents, I had to call you
in here because your boys have
refused to attend class with
their homosexual teachers, m'kay?
We're not staying in class
another minute with those queermos!
Well I really thought you boys learned
something in the Museum of Tolerance,
but apparently all you learned was
new words to call your poor teachers!
But they killed Lemmiwinks!
Shut your mouth, Butters!
You'll speak when spoken to!
Yes sir.
Mr. Mackey, we've done everything we
can to raise compassionate children.
We don't know where else to turn.
Well there is an intensive seminar camp.
It's a bit severe, but it
might be the only way. M'kay?
That sounds good to me.
Mee too.
Then it's settled. Boys,
you're going to tolerance camp.
Tolerance camp?
Welcome to tolerance camp.
You are here because you would
not accept people's differences.
Because you refuse to accept the
life choices of your fellow man.
Well those days are now over.
Here you vill verk,
every hour of every day until you
submit to being tolerant of everybody.
Here, intolerance...
will not be tolerated.
God-damnit!
How'd it go?
This is unbelievable, Mr. Slave! It seems
no matter what I do I can't get fired!
The principal didn't fire you?
No! The parents felt so bad that their
kids didn't want to attend my class anymore
that they wanna give me
the Courageous Teacher award
this Friday at the Museum of Tolerance!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I mean, I stuck a gerbil up your ass
and they wanna give me a Goddamn medal!
Well it sounds to me like the principal's
just hiding things from everybody.
What you need to do is let the parents
see what kind of demented faggot you are.
Oh well
- Hey, that's right, Mr. Slave.
The parents have to see for themselves.
The awards ceremony!
Well we'll put on a show
they'll never forget!
Oohoohoohoo, Jesus Christ.
<i>Lemmiwinks journeyed a
distance far and fast.
<i>To find his way out of a gay man's ass.
<i>The road ahead is filled
with danger and fright
<i>But push onward, Lemmiwinks,
with all of your might.
Lemmiwinks, you are coming to the
entrance of the small intestine.
Now you must seek out
the Sparrow Prince.
<i>The Sparrow Prince lies
somewhere way up ahead.
<i>Don't look back, Lemmiwinks,
or you'll soon be dead.
<i>Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks,
the time is growing late
<i>Slow down now and seal your fate.
I am the Sparrow Prince.
Long has my spirit been
trapped within this place.
Before you lies the maze
of the small intestine.
One path leads to the stomach,
the other to certain doom.
Take with you this helmet and
torch. Let them be your guide.
<i>Take the magic helmet torch
to help you light the way.
<i>There's still a lot of ground
to cross inside the man so gay.
<i>Ahead you lies adventure, and
your strength still lies within.
<i>Freedom from the Ass of Doom
is the treasure you will win.
Today we wll be using the fingerpaint!
You vill make a painting that
shows people of different races
and sexual orientations getting along.
Figerpaint. Figerpaint!
You vill not make any distinction
between people of different colors!
People with different
sexual preferences!
You vill accept everyone!
What are you fingerpainting?!
Uh, a bear?
Ein bear?! Und bear has nothing to do
with accepting people of different races!
Eh I, I don't know what else to paint.
Start over! You will
fingerpaint what we tell you! GO!
Faster.
Faster!
Faasterr.
Faster! Are you done?! What
is it?! What have you done?!
People of all colors and creeds
holding hands beneath a rainbow!
GOOD! That wasn't so hard, was it?
NOW DO IT AGAIN!
Faster!
Faasterr!
There! I've done it, Mr. Slave.
The perfect plan to get us fired.
You finished your costume design yet?
Almost. I jast have to get
through a su- Uh-huc, Jesus Christ.
What's the matter?
Mm, Just a bit of an
upset stomach, I guess.
Well here, take a Pepto pill. I can't
have my teacher's ass under the weather.
Eugh, Jesus Christ.
<i>Lemmiwinks came to the stomach far.
<i>Neath the depths of the lungs and heart.
You chose your path wisely,
Lemmiwinks. I am the Catatafish.
<i>Catatafish of the stomach's cove.
If you answer this riddle, the
esophagus will let you pass.
<i>Catatafish riddle will soom be told.
Everything in order?
Yes, mein Führer.
Ve are making the prisoners
make macaroni pictures
that illustrate diversity
in the verkplace.
Eh-xcellent!
Kyle. Kyle, you have to keep
making your macaroni pictures.
Can't... glue... any... more.
The guards are coming,
Kyle. Glue. Glue, damn you!
Take this one away. He is done for.
Butters!
No more... arts and crafts...
Jesus... we have to get out of here.
Please don't tell them
that we're hiding here.
We can't work anymore. We'll die.
Vhat? Waht?!
Oh. Uh, nothing. I was
just getting back to work.
Vhat is in there?
Nothing.
Get back to verk.
Yes sir! Phew.
Eww! Eww! Eww!
Hey, I was kidding. There's actually
two girls hiding down there. Hey!
Tonight we are here to honor
an amazing fourth grade teacher
with the Courageous Teacher award.
Herbert Garrison came
out about two years ago.
Since then he has faced adversity. He has
even faced ridicule by some of the students.
Oh Randy, I'm so ashamed of our son.
It is my honor to present the Courageous
Teacher award to... Herbert Garrison.
Get along, little Slave.
Oh my God.
That's what our boys were talking about?
Ding-ding,
ding-ding.
He is so courageous.
Say, Mr. Slave.
Yes, Mr. Garrison?
I had a dream last night
that you were a real dick.
Really? Why would you dream
that I was being an asshole?
No no, I was the asshole.
Ogh, that is so courageous.
What an amazing human being!
Uh, I uh I'm very
happy to get this award.
Uh but you know what
makes me even happier?
Sucking balls.
It isn't working. Sing
your song, Mr. Slave.
I've got a little Oof. Ohoc, Jesus
Christ. What's happening in there?
Hang on, Lemmiwinks!
You solved the Catatafish's riddle.
Now your trials are nearly through!
Oh! I should have never shoved
all those poor animals up my ass!
Courageous.
So courageous.
God-damnit, don't you people get
it?! I'm trying to get fired here!
Oh, that's courageous.
Look, this kind of behavior should
not be acceptable from a teacher!
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
But the mu-se-um tells
us to be to-le-rant
Yes. The
mu-se-um.
The mu-se-um
tells us.
Tolerant, but not stupid!
Look, just because you
have to tolerate something
doesn't mean you have to approve of it!
If you had to like it, it'd be
called the Museum of Acceptance!
"Tolerate" means you're
just putting up with it!
You tolerate a crying child sitting
next to you on the airplane or,
or you tolerate a bad cold.
It can still piss you off!
Jesus Tapdancing Christ!
He's right. Our boys
didn't hate homosexuals,
they just hated the way
this asshole was acting.
We'ge gotta get our boys back!
Ogh! Okay, so now can I PLEASE get
fired and get my 25 million dollars?!
No, no, I think I have a better idea.
We're sorry, boys. Why didn't you tell us
your teachers were acting so over-the-top?
Yes. You boys don't know
how much we suffered.
Come on, let's go.
Well this is insane!
I'm sorry Mr. Garrison, but it's obvious
you aren't tolerant of your own behavior.
Vhat do we have here? Noo recruits?
I assure you, the next veek will
be nothing but pain and suffering!
Oooo, this could be kind of fun.
<i>Lemmiwinks has made it out
and his tale is nearly through
Great job, Lemmiwinks.
Thanks to you we are all free.
But your adventures are just beginning,
for you are no ordinary
gerbil, Lemmiwinks.
You are the Gerbil King.
All hail the Gerbil King.
<i>Now that you're the Gerbil King
there's more ventures to go on
<i>Fly away to faraway lands
and to the setting sun
<i>There's still so many enemies
and battles yet to fight
<i>For Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King
could be told a thousand nights
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