Okay, is everyone ready to go?
Oh, I'm so excited. I've always
wanted to see Cirque du Cheville.
Me too. We were lucky to get tickets.
Come on, boys! We're gonna be late.
Oh, don't they look precious?
Why do we have to dress up? Isn't this just a circus, with elephants and lions and stupid clowns.
No, Stanley. Cirque du Cheville is French-Canadian.
They get acrobats and singers from all over the world and then do very artistic things..
Why the hell do you wanna take these boys to see that fufu French theater crap?
You're gonna turn them into poofders!
Dad, Stanley needs to see the arts!
Well, he doesn't need to see a bunch of frogs prance around in tights and make-op wrappin'
...their peckers around each other's faces!
Come on, everybody, let's go.
Close your eyes and cover your
ears, Billy! Remember, you're a man.
Oh, this is so exciting
Oh, look at the funny clown, Stanley.
Where? Oh, no.
Ha ha, very funny, thank you, goodbye.
No, thank you.
Go away, please.
He doesn't want your dumbass
umbrella, clown! Beat it!
You didn't know that was
gonna happen, did you, Stanley?
Oh, God, that was soo funny!
Oh, man, somebody stop my guts frm bursting out of my sides!
Ladies and gentlemen, please, no smoking and no flash-photography during Sarque du Son Bleu
Sarque du Son Bleu.
Oho, we've reached warp factor 5, captain.
Eric, sshhhh.
-How long does this thing last?
-Two hours.
Ooo, these are the contorting
quintuplets from Romania.
Wha-what? Another gay guy in feathers?
Damn, dude.
Oh, that was wonderful!
Yes. Too bad it was their last
show, or I'd go see it again.
Those contorting Romanian chicks rule.
Yeah, especially that second
one from the left. She was fine!
Cartman, what the hell are you
talking about?! They're identical!
Not that second one from the
left; she had it goin' on!
Don't forget to buy
your souvenirs, folks.
Damn, dude, do you see how much
money this place is raking in?
Yeah. I could prance around in tights
and sing opera too, for that kind of cash.
Hey, we should start our
own Cirque du Cheville.
(Yeah.)
Yeah. This one's moving out
of town, so we could take over.
Let's go practice.
Hurry up, girls. We must
bundle up against the cold.
Did we do good final show, Grandmama?
Very good, my girls. I only wish it weren't your last show.
I love this country so very much.
Mrs. Vladchick, it is time. It
is time to return to Romania.
Yes, yes, of course. Just give me vone second to finish getting them ready.
This way, girls. Quickly.
Why are we going out
the window, Grandmama?
Your mother did not want you to grow
up in Romania. This is our only chance.
Nid kelmin da bushka.
Nid kelmin da lushka velt
Nid kelmin da bushka ayn zolt!
M-Mrs. Vladchick?
Dash fam da bushka!
They're trying to defect!
Cauch! We need a boat.
Where to, Mack?
Follow that boat.
Dude, this isn't working.
It's Kenny's singing!
(Hunh?)
Yeah, Kenny, you have to sing better!
(I'm singing as good as I can!)
Well, it's not good enough, Kenny!
You have to get better! Try it again!
Aha, I knew it. They
turned you into poofders.
There's nowhere to go,
Mrs. Vladchick. Pull over!
Okay girls, the Cam Ay Alta.
Be careful, Gabul! Be
careful, Gabul! Yaaah!
Did we do good, Grandmama?
Very good, Glacas.
I'm tired, Grandpa.
No, Billy! You're gonna stay here and watch more McGyver.
We've gotta get all the Frenchy-poo fag-nasties out of ya.
Who the hell would be ringin' the doorbell at this time of night?
I don't know. Whoa.
We are very sorry to disturb you. My granddaughters are cold and tired.
Is there any possibility we could pay you for a place to sleep?
You're from Cirque du Cheville.
Yes. We- missed our train.
If we could shelter here; it would only be for one night.
Well…
Well, of course you can.
Come in out of the snow.
Oh, thank you so much.
There's some spare
bedrooms upstairs, Mrs.…?
Vladchick.
That Grandma is not a bad piece of ass.
Ew, Dad! Not in front of Stanley!
Well, it's good for 'im.
(Let's see… No, not there) (Let's
see. Nothing there) (Let's see… here!)
<i>Hello, and welcome to: "Singing like Bocelli for Dummies." Lesson 1: Yaaayayeha!
(Yaaayaya.)
<i>Lesson 2: Hehyayaya hehyayaya!
(Hehyayaya hehyayaya!)
<i>Good: And now we'll do the entire piece, "Con Te Partirò"
Got everything you need there, do ya?
Yes. You're avefully soo kind
to my little granddaughters.
They're quite agile
little things, aren't they?
Yes, as I was back in my day.
I was a contortionist, too.
Y'don't say.
Yes.
You… …remember any of that stuff, do ya?
And now lesson 4: the complete
works of Mozart. Let's begin.
(Damn!)
What should we do, Randy?
I like these Romanians fine, but I hope that old woman isn't planning on staying here much longer.
Heh, it's 11 o'clock
and she's still sleeping.
Poor dear must be tired.
-You're damn right she's tired.
-Huh?
Oh, nothin'. She's just gonna have a
little trouble walkin' today is all. .
Hurry up, you guys!
What's going on?
-Dude, you're not gonna believe this.
-What?!
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Hi.
-Hello.
No way! The bitches
from Cirque du Chebleu!
Yeah. They're quintuplets from Romania.
"What's a "quin-tuplet"?"
We are twins, except there
are five of us instead of two.
But there's only four of you.
No no, Natalia is just playing
mirror, but it's with Nadia.
Hello.
So if you're identical, does
that mean you all think alike?
No, don't be ridiculous.
Will you guys be in
our Cirque du Celville?
You have your own?
Well, not yet. Kenny has to
get better at singing first.
(Hey!)
But as soon as he starts singing
better, we're all gonna make bank!
-Okay.
-Sounds good.
-Count me in.
-Okay.
…Oh, and me.
All right!
Alright, we've gotta figure out what to do. I'm gonna go wake her up.
Hello? Mrs.… Mrs., Old Romanina Woman?
Ma'am?
Well, all tuckered, is she? Ha ha ha ha.
No, Dad.
A little cottony in the crotch?
No, Dad, she's dead!
What?!
Oh, dear Jesus!
It looks like she had a heart attack.
No wonder she didn't say good-night.
Okay, hold it, hold it.
I don't know how to tell. You tell them.
Uh, girls, we… have some bad news.
What?
Um… Everyone who has a grandma, step forward.
Uh, not so fast, girls.
Randy!
Grandmama is dead?
What are we going to do now?
You guys, come here.
This is totally awesome.
-What?!
-How can you say that?
Because now we can convince them to stay
here, and now our circus will kick ass!
Oh, yeah!
Mom! Dad! Can the quints stay
with us? Please? Can they?
Well, Stan, it's not really our-
They have nowhere else to go. Please?
Well, for the time being I, I
mean, of course they can stay.
Hooray!
Tom, I'm standing at the home in South Park where five precious little girls have been rescued from Romania.
Their mother passes away some months ago, and then their grandmother died trying to bring them here.
But all is well now, and people are coming from all over the country to view the little tykes.
If you'd like to come down and visit the quintuplets, admission is only $5, and for a few dollars more ,
...you can feed them fishsticks.
Tom, it looks like these cute little girls have made it out of that armpit of a country they call Romania.
Yes, luckily for them, these quintuplets no longer have to live in Romania, the asshole of the world. Back to you, Tom.
This is not good. It makes our
country look poor and stupid.
This could kill our tourism.
You know what to do.
Alright, Kenny, let's start
with some warm-up exercises.
Well, what do you think? Can you
help him become a better singer?
Well, he's got potential. Depends
on how good he wants to be.
(Well, let's do it then!)
Well, if you wanna be a real singer, you need to go to a conservatory in Europe. There's no other alternative.
(Europe?)
We can't afford that.
Well, then, I'm afraid your
son will always be a hack.
Well, Kenny, if it means that much to you, maybe we can bus it to Europe and…
...you can sing on the way to make money.
Randy, Randy, you'd
better have look at this.
What?
…until the U.S. government receives this video, which was sent from Romania just hours ago.
Hello. This is Romanian father. I am desperate to have my girls returned to me in Romania.
That's your dad?
Maybe.
But we haven't seen papa
for more than five years.
-How I've missed them all. Little Nahlal.
-Nadia!
-Nadia, my sweet Barshta
-Baltania!
Baltania, eh anyway, my heart is aching for their return.
I, I know the American government will do what's right. Thank You.
Hoh no, dude. If they get sent back to Romania, we'll never get our Cirque dei Ceville going.
Mom, Dad, you're not gonna
send tham back, are you??
Well, I… think we… have to,… don't we?
I don't know.
You don't wanna go back to stinky
Romania, do you? It sucks there.
Yeah. America is sooo much cooler. In Romania they just oppress you and try to bring you down.
We'll have to call the police
and see what they want us to do.
Damn, we might be screwed.
No! We've just gotta convince these chicks that America kicks the ass out of every other country. Come on!
You see, in America we have… log rides!
Bacon double-cheeseburgers!
Sheep-shearing contests!
And shoppong malls! Hooray!
Mrs. Janet Reno, you must understand, the father has right to his children.
Yes, but the girls seem to wanna stay here.
Why don't you all stay here in America, and this whole thing can go away.
Okay.
Our home is Romania. We love it there.
Ah, yes, uwuh we love it there.
If daughters will not return on their
own, you must force them to return
Gentlemen, this has to be handled very delicately.
You don't understand Americans' power to protest.
Protest?
Look, people have it so good in America that they get bored very easily.
And when people get bored they start protesting things.
But I want to assure you, and the Romanian people,
that we are going to do
everything in our power to
make this as confusing as possible.
Let the quints stay! Romania is gay!
Let the quints stay! Romania is gay!
Fur is murder! Fur is murder!
Oh, what are we protesting here?
Romania sucks!
Oh, let's see Here we go.
Romania sucks!
Romania sucks! Romania sucks!
Oh my God! I didn't know this was
going to become such a big deal.
That'll teach us for taking an old lady
and her granddaughters out of the cold.
Attention, people inside the house! You must return the quintuplets to their father!
You have until…
Oh yeah, that's good. You have until Easter Sunday to comply.
Nooo!
Boooo!
What?!
Okay, let's try it again. Hup!
Alright!
Stan, we-
Stanley, we have some bad news.
The courts have decided the girls must go back to Romania.
No, they can't! We've convinced them
that they want to stay in America.
Yeah, we've shown them amusement parks and malls. How can you expect them to go back now?
I'm sorry, boys, but Janet Reno is having them taken away on Easter Sunday.
We… don't have a choice. Sorry, girls.
Now what do we do?
Tom, it is now Easter morning, and as the U.S. government promised,
they are here to take the girls back to their father in Romania.
Rumor has it that Janet Reno herself will be extraditing the quintuplets.
Alright, Ms. Reno,
let's go over the plan.
Right.
We'll drop you on the northwest corner of the backyard.
You hop into the back of the house and find the quintuplets.
When you see them, you say…
"Hello, girls. I'm the Easter bunny."
Good. And then hand them the Easter eggs filled with tear gas. Are you ready?
Ready.
Code blue!
Code blue!
Lad, we would like very much to have
you here at the Romanina Music School.
How much is all this gonna cost?
Don't worry, Ms. McCormick, Romania is very poor country.
Apartment is cheap. Food is cheap, Everything is cheap because we are so God-damned poor.
Yes, your two hundred American
dollars will last months here.
Wow, what a great country.
Everybody's poor, like us.
Hello, girls. I'm the Easter bunny.
Happy Easter, kids. Come see what I brought for ya.
<i>Hey, Terrance, I think I have to fart.
Wait. Before you do, pull my thumb.
Oh, look. An Easter egg.
Oh, shi-
That's it. Let's move, move move move,
move! Give us the kids, now! Now!
Down on the floor. Get down
on the God-damned floor!
Find them!
This is a bust! Hand over the quints!
Hand over the children! Happy Easter. Hand over the children!!
What the hell's goin' on?!
Freeze, asshole!
Aw, go ahead and shoot me! I dare ya!
Don't push me, man!
Pull the trigger, you little pussy!
Gun! Gun!
Down! Down!
Riot! Riot!
Pepper spray! Pepper spray!
Go ahead! In the van!
Damnit, now I'm never
gonna have my own circus!
Oh, your son is so talented, Ms. McCormick. The people of Romania love him.
Good job, Kenny.
Mrs.McCormick, we would love for you and your son to stay here in Romania, with us.
Will you consider it?
Well, what do you think, Kenny? You'd have
to leave your friends and your family behind.
-(Sure!)
-Alright!
Oh, Randy, it's gone! It's all gone!
Dude, what the hell happened?
The government came and got the quintuplets.
No more Cirque du Cheville for us.
Damnit! How come every time we get a sweet idea, the government has to screw it up?!
-Yeah! Well, not this time!
-Huh?
We've just gotta get that angry mob back on our side!
Alright, everybody, listen up!
Those bastards broke in here and took those poor quintuplets to the mayor's office downtown!
But they haven't won yet!
I say we all go over to the mayor's office, and demand to see the quintuplets right now!
I don't know. I usually like
to stop protesting by 5:30.
Yeah, ah, do we get overtime for this?
Uh, sure, you can all get overtime.
Alright!
Yeah!
Down with Japan!
Alright. We just need to get a few more pictures of the girls reunited with their father so everyone knows they're happy.
Come on, girls. Smile.
We want you to look happy. Smile.
Look at the silly frog. Who's got the silly frog? Look at him.
I've got- Look at him. It's silly. "I'm so silly."
Ah, hello? This is Kenny's dad, back in America.
I miss my son very much.
I would like to see him returned to me so that the U.S. government will buy me a new car and-
I mean, bec- because I miss my son very much. Man.
Hey! We wanna see the quintuplets!
You can't see them, boys. They're
happily reunited with their father.
Come on, angry mob!
Alright, it is time for
us to return to Romania.
What is that?
It's the protesters. They're back.
God-damnit! We'll take
care of them. Come on!
Let's move. Move!
This is government property!
Let the quints stay!
You ruined my house!
What are you doing, Nadia?
I'm calling the only person
in the vorld who can help us.
Take that!
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
All of you are acting like idiots!
Yeah.
None of you care about us.
You only care about yourselves!
Look at you, Father. You walked out on us five years ago ,
...and now you act like you miss us sooo much! You are a liar and a fake!
Yeah, you suck, dude!
And you Romanian leaders , you don't care about us!
All you care about is making America look stupid!
Yeah! God, you guys are dicks!
And you protesters! Don't you have anything better to do?! Get a life!
Yeah!
And you boys are the worst of all!
Huh?
You know nothing about Romania, and yet you assume America is so much better!
Maybe Romania isn't as nice as America, but it is our home!
We are Romanian! All you care about is your own stupid circus!
Where are you going, girls?
The only place we can go. We're going on Oprah and then a book tour.
Yes. You can all kiss our
little white Romanian asses!
Oh, well. Doing our own
circus was a dumb idea anyways.
Yeah, screw them!
Kenny was never gonna get
his singing right anyway.
Whatever happened to Kenny?
Let Kenny stay! Let Kenny
stay! Let Kenny stay!
Alright, people, the father wants his
son returned to him! Hand him over to us!
Boooo!
Shut up, Romanians! All right,
let's go. Move move move move!
Hand over the boy, now!
Okay, okay!
I mean it, lady, you've got about-!
Woops.
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