? I'm going down
to south park?
? Gonna have
myself a time?
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
? Humble folks
without temptation?
? Going down
to south park?
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
? Ample parking
day or night?
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
? Headin' on up
to south park?
? Gonna see
if i can't unwind?
? So come on down
to south park?
? And meet some
friends of mine?
All right,
miss sanders,
All ready for
your abortion?
Ready as i'm ever
going to be, i guess.
Well, try to relax.
It will all be over
very soon.
Doctor, can we turn off
that television?
Oh, yes, i'm sorry.
Now, there is
one more thing.
What?
Have you heard of
stem cell research?
I've heard of it
on the news,
But i don't know
what it is.
Well, basically a lot of
amazing studies have shown
That stem cells might
be used to fight cancer
And a myriad of
other diseases.
Right now,
a lot of stem cells
Come from the tissue
of aborted fetuses-
I'm sorry,
unwanted children.
And if you sign a release
that tissue can go to study.
Oh, well, i suppose if
it can help others.
The hope is that
someday it might.
Okay.
Great.
Well, here we go.
Nurse.
This is to go toalder'slabs
for stem cell research.
Yes, doctor.
? On the road again?
? Just can't wait to get
on the road again?
? The life i love is making
music with my friends?
? And i can't wait to get
on the road again?
? On the road again?
? Going places that
i've never been?
? Seeing things that
i may never see again...?
Jesus christ!
? On the road the road?
? Like a band of gypsies
we go down the highway?
? My baby takes
the morning train?
Hmm?
? On the road again...?
What do we have here?
Well, that burned
a long time.
Yeah, that was
pretty good.
Oh dude,
there goes one.
Okay, go.
All right!
All right!
You've had that cough a while,
kenny, you okay?
Hey, fellas,
hey, fellas!
What, butters?
Eric says you gotta come
to his house right away.
Tell him we're busy.
Oh, well, he knew
you'd say that
So he told me to tell you that
you don't wanna miss this.
What, did he lose
100 pounds?
Yeah, yeah, he knew
you'd say that too
So he said to say,
"up your ass, jew."
Yeah.
All right, let's go
see what he wants.
Oh, it's all sticky.
All right, cartman,
what's so important
You had to pull us away from
lighting cow crap on fire?
Oh, you guys, you're
not gonna believe it.
What?
Guess what i have
sitting in my backyard.
A trampoline?
Better.
A boat?
Better.
A f-King machine?
Better.
Well, what,
cartman?
33 aborted fetuses.
Oh yes.
What?
Mint condition,
tax free.
Cartman, what the hell are you
doing with aborted fetuses?
I'm leaving, right now.
Oh, i guess you don't
watch the news, kyle.
You've never watched
the news, fat-Ass.
And what the hell does that
have to do with anything?
Stem cells, numb nuts.
Stem cells?
Oh, and what do you know
about stem cells?
What the heck are
stem cells?
They're cells that
come from fetuses.
And some research shows
that they could be used
To treat diseases.
It's been proven, jew!
I saw it on
"3-2-1 contact".
With all the research
that's going on
Stem cells are worth three times
their weight in gold.
What i have in my backyard
is an aborted treasure chest.
I hate you so much.
Fine, i don't need
you assholes!
I can sell these fetuses
all on my own!
Hello, is this university of
colorado biology department?
Great, i understand you're
currently doing research
On stem cells.
Cool, because i'm currently
in possession
Of some aborted fetuses
i'm looking to unload.
How much do you pay?
No, no, come on,
i got a guy in cleveland
Who's gonna give me
$80 a pound right now.
How about 100?
You're breaking my balls,
i'll think about it.
Bos-Nad medical group?
Yeah, i called earlier about
the stem cells and the fetuses.
Okay, hi, randy, yeah.
Oh yes, they've been kept
in a cool temperature, yeah.
These are primo fetuses, randy,
i wouldn't jerk you around.
So what can your company
give me for them?
Oh, randy, you're breaking
my balls here.
You're breaking
my balls, randy.
Oh please!
Okay, you tell me where
you can get aborted fetuses
For 70 cents
on the dollar?
You tell me, chuck.
Yeah, i didn't think so.
Y'know, i'm just like
the fetuses, chuck,
I wasn't born
yesterday either.
Uh-Huh, so are you
gonna talk to me
Or are we just gonna keep
bull-Ing each other?
Breaking my balls, chuck.
I gotta unload
these fetuses,
You wanna do
some research.
Are we talking here
or what?
You're breaking my balls.
I'm telling you, if you let
this deal pass you by
You're making
a "fetal" mistake.
A hundred-Ten?
All right, all right,
we got a deal.
Good-Bye.
Damn, i'm good.
Can i help you?
Yes, i'm making a delivery
of these fetuses here.
Oh right, the fetuses.
We were very lucky
you called.
Our last shipment
of fetuses
Was was lost in
a truck accident.
Gee, that's terrible.
So who do i talk to
about payment?
This is awful,
just awful.
Oh, larry.
This young man has the new
fetuses for research.
You're gonna love these fetuses,
larry, they're top notch.
Oh, i'm sorry but we can't
buy those from you now.
What?!
We made a deal, larry.
I brought them all the way
down here already!
I'm afraid the government
has just put a ban
On stem cell
research.
A ban- Why?
Too many people were
upset about using
Aborted fetal tissue
for study.
It's too bad, too.
We really could've helped
a lot of people.
Aye!
What the hell am i supposed to
do with these things, huh?!
God damn it!
Dude, it looks like
cartman and kenny
Are ditching
school again.
Yeah, they're gonna
get busted again.
All right, class,
let's take our seats.
Now, before we get started,
stan and kyle,
The principal needs to
see you in her office.
The principal,
oh, come on!
We don't know where
cartman is, miss choksondik.
She needs to see you now.
Ah, man,
here we go again.
Use the jew
as a scapegoat.
Hello, boys.
Wait, what's
going on here?
All right, look,
we don't know for sure
Why cartman is
ditching school,
But it has something
to do with abortions.
That's all we know.
You didn't do anything
wrong, boys,
We just need
to talk to you.
Have a seat.
Boys, uh...
Your little friend kenny went to
the hospital last night, m'kay.
And, well,
he's pretty sick.
Kenny's sick?
Well, how sick?
Children, kenny
has been diagnosed
With a terminal disease.
But, the doctors are gonna
make him better, right?
Oh, dear.
Mom, that's what
hospitals are for.
They can make him
better.
Randy.
They don't
think so, stanley.
Your friend is terminally ill
and that means...
Well, son, that means he's going
to be going to heaven soon.
Wait, kenny's
going to die?
He might, kyle.
But, he's our
f- F-F-Friend.
We know, and that's why
he's gonna need you boys
To be strong for him, m'kay.
He needs you now
more than ever.
No, this can't happen.
Kenny can't die!
Kenny can't die!
Come on, jack, you gotta be
able to offer me more than that.
Yes, i realize there's a ban
on stem cell research,
But i've got 30 some-Odd
human fetuses in my backyard.
I'm sure there's other research
your company can do with them.
You'll take one?
Okay, how much for one?
Oh, jack, you're breaking
my balls here, jack.
Hello, is thiscaptain bly's
seafood restaurant?
Yeah, hi, i've got
a shipment of about 31
Of the most succulent shrimp
from the west indies.
These are killer
shrimp, gary,
Your customers
are gonna love 'em.
What kind of price are you
paying for shrimp?
Oh, gary, you're breaking
my balls, gary.
How about 10
and a quarter?
Balls, gary,
breaking them.
All right,
i'll call you back.
Sweetie, your friends
are downstairs.
They need to see you.
Not now, mom, i've only
unloaded three "fetae",
I've gotta sell the rest
before they spoil.
They say
it's an emergency.
All right.
Butters?
Yeah.
Are you through databasing
the clientele sheet?
Just about.
All right, well,
you gotta take over
The telemarketing
for a bit.
Oh, okay.
Just remember
what i taught you
And follow protocol.
The next number to try
is on the list.
Right.
Hello, is this mr. Thompson
with anatomy research?
Yes, hello, sir.
We have a surplus
of unborn fetuses
That we think you could use
for dissection study.
Uh-Huh, how much are you
pay for that?
You're breaking my balls.
I said you're breaking
my balls, mr. Thompson.
My balls.
What is this,
a p.T.A. Meeting?
Cartman, kenny's
in the hospital.
In the hospital, why?
They told us he has
a muscular disease.
And that, and that
he might die.
Die... kenny?
Don't you say that,
kenny's not gonna die.
I'm going to take the boys to go
see him at the hospital, eric.
We thought you might
want to come.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Let me get my coat.
There we go,
little buddy.
Thank you.
You sure you don't want
to take your jacket off,
It's pretty warm?
No thanks.
Hey, look who has
some visitors.
Ooh, what a lucky
little man.
We'll be right outside
if you need us, kenny.
Hey, dude,
how's it going?
Okay, i guess.
We brought you a present,
it's agobo fighter.
Don't tell him
what it is, dude.
Sorry.
Hey, we were all talking about
how when you get better
We're all gonna go down
to stark's pond again
And go camping,
huh, stan?
I-
Stan, stan!
Where you going?
I can't,
i just can't.
Dude, he needs us
right now.
I can't see him
like that, kyle.
All those hoses
and wires.
He's a kid, dude,
He's supposed to be running
around and laughing.
I know it's tough, but-
Look at me!
I know it's tough,
okay, i know.
But we have to be
tough right now.
And what are we
supposed to do, huh?
Stand in that room and
keep making small talk?
Make believe like
everything's okay?
I can't do it!
Look, however hard
you think it is for you,
It's a lot harder for him.
Just leave me alone!
Stan, you can't leave.
I'm not the one who's
leaving, he is!
Y'know, it's funny, kenny.
Stan and kyle have
always sort of been
Best friends, y'know.
Well, i don't know if i ever
told you this, kenny, but...
I kinda always thought
you were my best friend.
I don't know.
Yes, you're my
best friend too.
Okay, we're gonna need to give
kenny some time to sleep now.
Don't you worry,
kenny,
I'm gonna find
a cure for you.
Everything's
gonna be okay.
Cartman?
Oh, kyle, hey.
What's going down, jew-Boy?
Cartman, were you crying?
No, no, i mean, i, i got
something in my eyes.
The air in here is just-
Oh, man.
Hey, cartman.
I care a lot
about him too.
I'm gonna find a cure, kyle.
I swear to god,
i'm gonna find a cure.
Sure you will, cartman.
Sure you will.
This is where the bulk
of our stem cell research
Was being done.
But due to the
government ban
We're mostly just
packing things up.
Doctor, can you tell me exactly
how stem cells work?
Look, you have trillions
of cells in your body-
Heart cells, skin cells,
brain cells and so on.
But before a cell
is designated
As a toenail cell
or a pancrea cell,
It's what we call
a stem cell.
Sort of like
a blank cell.
Do you understand?
Not at all,
but go on.
Because these
cells are blanks
They will often
program themselves
Based on what cells
you put around them.
You see this rat?
Earlier this year we surgically
removed the middle of her spine.
Then we injected her
with some stem cells and,
They became the missing
part of the spine.
My god.
Nerve cells damaged by
parkinson's disease
Or heart tissue
of cardiac patients,
Might ultimately be replaced by
tissue grown from stem cells.
So then, could
stem cells be used
On someone whose muscle
tissue is wasting away?
In other words
If a little boy was dying
from a muscular disease
The stem cells could
become new muscle tissue.
That's the theory.
Well so then,
If the stem cells are placed
next to ashakey's pizza
They would become another
shakey's pizza.
And you'd have your own
shakey's pizza
Where you didn't have to
charge yourself to eat!
Well, no, to build
another shakey's
It would be better
to use lumber.
Hmm.
But, unfortunately,
The government has banned
stem cell research.
And so, we'll never know.
Looks like somebody's
gonna have to try
And change the
government's mind.
Where are you going?
There's a pretty brave kid
fighting his for his life
In the hospital
right now, doctor.
I'm gonna go get him some
bigger boxing gloves.
Hey, kid...
Give 'em hell.
Oh, doctor.
Thanks... thanks.
Oh, hey, kid.
Good luck...
good luck.
Oh, and doctor.
Oh, never mind.
And see, here's
one from butters.
It says, "we can't wait to see
you back in school, kenny."
And it has a picture of him
and you in a little airplane.
Oh, isn't that nice?
You've got lots of friends,
don't you, kenny?
Yes...
But what about stan?
Stan?
Oh, well, no, there's
nothing here from stan.
But stan's gonna come see you
real soon, i bet, kenny.
I hope so.
Hey, look who's here.
Stan?!
Hello, kenny.
I'm laura jones and
this is bob farren.
We're with the
make-A-Wish foundation.
Oh, kenny,
isn't that nice?
Make-A-Wish
foundation?
We travel the country
giving special little
Boys and girls like you
their biggest wish.
Neat, huh, kenny?
Yeah.
So, kenny, if you
could have one wish
What would it be?
What's your wish, pal?
What did he say?
He said his wish
is not to die.
Okay, and what if you
could have two wishes?
What would
the second one be?
I know, i bet you'd like
to meet madonna, huh?
What was that?
He said madonna's
an old anorexic whore
Who wore out her
welcome years ago.
And that now she suddenly
speaks with a british accent
And she thinks
she can play the guitar.
And she should go
f- K herself.
Should i come in now?
Uh, not quite yet.
Hello there, children.
Hey, chef.
How's it going?
Bad.
Yeah, things have
been better, huh?
Why would god let kenny
die, chef, why?
Kenny's my f-F-Friend.
Why can't god take someone
else's f-F-Friend?
Stan, sometimes god
takes those closest to us
Because it makes him
feel better about himself.
He's a very
vengeful god, stan.
He's all pissed off
about something we did
Thousands of years ago.
He just can't get over it.
So he doesn't care
who he takes.
Children, puppies-
It don't matter to him.
So long as it makes us sad.
Do you understand?
Then why does god give us
anything to start with?
Well, look at it this way.
If you want to make
a baby cry,
First you give it a lollipop,
then you take it away.
If you never give it
a lollipop to begin with
Then you would have
nothing to cry about.
That's like god,
Who gives us life
and love and help
Just so he can tear it
all away and make us cry.
So he can drink the
sweet milk of our tears.
You see,
it's our tears, stan,
That give god
his great power.
I think i understand.
My name is eric cartman
and i live in colorado.
My best friend in the whole
world is kenny mccormack
And he's sick right now.
He's real sick.
He's only
eight years old
And the doctors don't think
he has very long to live.
Look, i realize
that using the tissue
From aborted fetuses for
research is a touchy subject,
But, all i know is that if
there's a chance, a chance,
That stem cell research could
save my best friend's life,
Well, i guess i owe it to him
to try to change your minds.
I love kenny mccormack and...
I want you to
love him too.
I'm sorry, i'm not the best
speaker in the world.
Maybe i could put it best in
the words of a timeless song.
? It was the heat
of the moment?
? Telling me what
your heart meant?
? The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes?
? I never meant to be
so bad to you?
? One thing i said
that i would never do?
? One look from you and
i would fall from grace?
? And that would
wipe the smile?
? Right from my face?
? Do you remember when
we used to dance?
? And incidents arose
from circumstance?
? One thing led to another
we were young?
? And we would scream
together songs unsung?
? It was the heat
of the moment?
? Telling me what
your heart meant?
? The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes?
And so you see,
now that the ban
On stem cell research
has been lifted
We can sell your fetus to
companies like alder labs.
Oh, i don't know.
Look, i can offer you $75 for
that fetus right now, jill.
$75? Well, all right.
Great, just sign
right here, please.
Hi, having an
abortion today?
Great, listen, if you'd like to
sell your abortion for research
I'm offering $75.
Help out a little bit with
your medical bill in there.
Why don't you
sign right there.
Excuse me, ma'am,
Can i interest you in
selling your aborted fetus?
We're not going to
the abortion clinic.
I'm gonna
have this baby.
Oh, i'm sorry to hear that,
Because there's a little boy
dying in a hospital right now
Who could sure use that baby
more than you could.
The stem cells from your fetus
could help save his life.
Oh, well, i guess
we can always
Just make another one.
Oh, mark, i love you.
All right!
Now kenny has
a fighting chance.
Young man, do you know
where you're going?
Yeah, i'm gonna
see my friend
Because he needs me
right now.
All right!
Go, kid,
good for you.
Hey, kenny.
Oh, no.
No.
He just, he just
stopped breathing.
And it was over.
But... i didn't
get to see him.
Kyle, i didn't get
to say good-Bye.
Did he say anything
before he went?
He just said...
"Where's stan?"
And so, we will
all miss kenny-
His playful laughter,
his innocent smile.
But we will never forget that
it was because of brave kenny
That stem cell research was
allowed to continue.
I let kenny down.
I'm his worst
f- F-Friend.
You guys, come quick!
What, cartman?
It's- Why, it's a
miracle, you guys!
What, cartman,
what's happened?
Look.
I put the stem cells from
all the fetuses i had
Next to shakey's.
And theyarereplicating
a new shakey's.
It worked!
This whole time
You were just using
kenny's illness
To lift the ban on
stem cell research
So you could sell
your stupid fetuses?
Stupid fetuses?!
It's my own shakey's.
I actually hugged you.
I held you in my arms
and cried with you.
I figure i only need 100
or so more aborted babies
And i can finish up
the kitchen.
Aaah!
Ahh, kyle!
Kyle!
Hey, i wasn't kenny's
worst f-F-Friend.
Cartman was.
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