I don't wanna go to
the stupid party!
Come on, Stan! You're
gonna have a great time!
No! YOU guys are
gonna have a great time!
Whenever there's a party, the adults
get to hang out and have fun while
the kids spend the night locked in
the basement eating stale pretzils!
Well, your Mom and I don't get out much,
so you'll just have to bear through it!
Hello! Welcome! Mkay?!
This is already a wild party!
Yeah! Well, sorry we had to bring the kid
along. We had nowhere else to put him!
Oh, that's okay! I got a special kids
room down in the basement!
Be sure to help yourselves
to the crab soufle and the...
Wanita! Wanita! We need
some more finger sandwiches!
I don't wanna hang out in the
kids room! I won't know anybody!
Well, it would be good for
you to make new friends.
You can't just hang out with
your buddy Kyle all the time!
People'll think you guys are...
You know! Funny!
- I bet you'll have a great time!
- Here we go! Its right in here!
We'll be upstairs if you
need anything, Stan!
- Dad! You can't leave me here! These
guys are total melvins! - Have fun, Stanley!
No, Mom, please! They're the
geekiest kids in our school!
We'll come get you kids when
the meteor shower starts!
- Cherrio, Stan! I do say, it's quite a nice
surprise seeing you here! - Shut up, Pip!
Hey, Stan! Weeell,
I sure am glad you're here.
Cuz then we'll have even more fun than
we... Well, than we was havin before!
We w'... We were havin an awfully good
time before you showed up too, However.
- Butters, is there any way out
of here? - Nope! No way out!
But... but there ain't nothin upstairs
but an old stupid party anyways!
It's better down here
in the kids room.
This here is Dougie! He's not too old,
but he sure is a hoot to hang with!
Uh, he's a first grade, I think!
I like math!
Oh, my God!
We were just playing a game called Wicker
shums and Decklers. Do you want to play?
No!
I'm the head Wickernicker,
and you are all Wickershangs.
We all sing the merry tune of
Stratford untill I yell "Tarah!",
and then you all fall down laughing
and I join you as I find it funny too!
Stan, would you be the
Wickershangerbrungerbrier?
Well, alright! Here we go!
Great party, Mr. Mackey!
Mr. Hat just grabed
Principal Victoria's Ass!
No! Mr. Hat!
You get back here!
Anyone for some meteor mai tai
punch? It packs quite a wollup!
Oh, I'll pass! I don't
drink hard alcohol!
C'mon! Loosen up! Meteor showers
only come once in a great wild!
One little drink isn't gonna hurt
anything, honey! Live a little!
Well, it is kind of a special night.
I guess I could experiment!
Yeah! Experiment!
- Are you sure you don't
want to play, Stanley? - Yes!
What are you, a sour puss?
Weeell, you really oughta play,
Stan! It's an awfully fun game!
I've never been to England, buuuut I
bet the people there are real nice!
Are people nice in England, Pip?
I'll bet they are, huh! They
got those thick noses and all!
Hey! Look at this! - What is it? Is it
something neat? I wonder what it could be!
- It's a box filled with
ladies clothes! - Neato!
Heey! You know what we could do
with these lady clothes? Huh? Why!
Weeeell, we could
play Charlie's Angles!
Aw, Dude!
You godda be kidding me!
Ah, yes! Let's! Can I be
Jaqueline Smith? Can I?
No! I gedda be Jaqueline Smith!
See, I thought of Charlie's Angles!
And I gedda be Jaqueline
Smith! Cuz I thought of it!
Oh! This stuff's as fun as
Wickershungs and Decklers!
Come on, Angles!
Let's get dressed!
Which ladies garnments would you like, Stan?
- Dude, I'm not putting on ladies clothes
and I'm not playing Charlies Angles! You
guys are Melvins, and I'm not one of you!
So, you go ahead and be
Melvins and leave me alone!
Well! Alrighty, then!
Here it is! I just had the
hot tub put in last week!
- Wow! Neat!
- It looks quite inviting!
Yeah! You can get a lot of
action when you have a hot tub!
Oh, Mr. Mackey! You nut!
- Hell! We should get in!
- Yeah!
Sure! Go ahead! It's a...
it's a party, isn't it, mkay!
Oh, I'm not hot tubbing!
I have nothing to wear!
That's okay!
- No hot tub for me!
- Well, screw you guys!
I'm getting in for a while too!
Geronimo!
Oh, look at our boys, Sheila! It's
just like they're in college again!
Okay, Angels! What's
our mission this week?
Well, I don't know what our mission is!
Do you know what our mission is,
little first grade kid?
- How should I know?
Oh, dear! We're Charlies Angels
but we don't have a mission!
Hey, that's because we need Bosly!
Bosley always told the Angles
what there mission was!
Remember Bosley? Wellowell,
we need somebody to be Bosley!
What?!
Well, we hate to trouble you, Stan, but
would you mind terribly being Bosley for us?
- What do I have to do? - You just
godda tell us what our mission is!
That's all Bosley does! Just give a
mission and us Angles will accomplish it
Alright, alright!
Here's your mission!
In ten minutes this room is gonna fill
with water and drown everybody!
You have to find me a
way out of this room fast!
Oh! That's a splendid mission!
Well-uh! What are we waiting for?
We godda find our way out of this
room, by golly! Or else,
we're all gonna get drowned!
C'mon, Angles!
Which Angel am I again?
Oh, boy! It's nice to have a
night out without the kids, huh!
Yeah, I know what you mean!
I love having a family and all!
I just miss being able to party,
drinking and socializing, experimenting
with all kinds of different things.
Well, that's what being
young is all about!
Once you have a family and a career,
your experimenting days are over!
But, tonight is the exception!
That's why I'm gonna smoke this cigar!
Only 'cause I've never smoked before!
Good idea!
What haven't you tried that
you've always wanted to try?
I don't know! Maybe I'll drink a few more
beers and see where the party takes me!
Yeah!
- Was that your leg?
- Oh, you mean this?
- Yeah!
- Yeah, that was me!
- Bosley, Bosley!
- What, Pip!
Oh, no, no! My name is Sabrina Duncan!
Remember! We're playing Charlie's Angles!
- What the hell do you want?!
- Well, we've completed our mission!
- Jim found a way upstairs!
- He did?!
- Air shaft! - Dougie pushed
that big box out of the way
and found this
old ventalation duct!
And I reckon it's godda lead somewhere!
I'ts good, 'cause now we won't drown!
- So, Bosley, what's our next mission?
- We're going upstairs!
Upstairs? Why, there's ain't
nothin upstairs but adults!
Why would we want
to go upstairs for?
Because, you stupid melvins, they
have rad food and deserts upstairs!
Hey, did you see Principal
Victoria in there? She looks hot!
She sure does! I wouldn't
mind taking that home!
Oh, ho! Yeah, ha! I'm sure
your wife would love that!
I wish! That's the one thing I've
always thought of experimenting with!
A threesome!
- With two girls or two guys?
- Well, two girls, of course!
I mean, with another guy,
you know, that'd be...
Dude, you've never had a
homosexual fantasy? Not that I have!
- You haven't?
- No! I mean,
well, they say everyone has
at some point, don't they?
Well, I never really wanted to
experiment with anything too crazy!
Maybe just...
I don't know... masturbate
in front of another guy.
Yeah! Well, that's...
that's not really gay! Is it?
No! No, I don't think so!
Well, it is a night
for experimenting!
Sure is!
Okay, I'll start!
This must be the place! They've got all
kinds of crazy things going on in there!
Code seven! Legally, we've found the
compound! Request Immediate backup!
Okay! So just what is
going on here, people?
- GET DOWN!
- What?
It's just like we
told you, officer!
There's a religious cult in there that
plans to commit mass suicide
when the meteor shower
starts! - Are you sure?
Of course, we're sure! We're the
Beaureau of Alcohol, Tobacco,
and Fire Arms! It's our job to
know what these fanatics do!
So what does the ATF do when religious
fanatics are going to commit mass suicide?
Uh, don't worry!
We won't let that happen!
Even if it means we have to
kill each and everyone of them!
What's the situation? - Apparently, we've
got at least five dozen men and women
in there who intend to commit suicide
when the meteor shower starts!
Any luck talking to
somebody in the house?
We've tried calling, but there's no answer!
I think we're gonna have to move in, sir!
- Alright! Johnson!
- Sir!
I'm sending you in! Watch
your ass! - Yes, sir!
Oh! Come on in!
Join the party! Mkay?!
Would you like a meteor mai tai?
Hey! I love mai tais!
We did it! Great job, Angles!
So, what's our mission now? Huh, Bosley?
Whadya want us to do now, I wonder?
Alright, Angles! Uh, your next mission is
to get Bosley some cookies and a TV set!
What kind of cookies
do you want, Bosley?
- I don't care! Just hurry!
- Uh, hooray!
So! Well! That was certainly...
interesting! - Yeah!
You don't regret
doing it, now do you?
No, no! What's there
to regret? Right? I mean,
all we did was watch
each other... masturbate!
That's... that's not gay or
anything! We said so! Right?
Tha... that's right! It's just
harmless experimenting!
Well, lets get back into the party
and see what everybody's doing!
Hey! Nothing changes between us,
right? I mean, we're still friends!
Uh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure!
Dammit! Where's Johnson?!
No communication, sir!
It doesn't look good for him!
Those bastards!
Great party, Mr. Mackey!
Thank you so much!
Are you sure you
have to leave so early?
We both have to be up early
tomorrow, but thanks again!
Mkay! Drive carefully! Mkay?!
Hold it right there!
Whatever it is you are
intending to do, do not do it!
Your freaky religious cult
will not succeed in its plan!
What? - Do not move or
we will forced to shoot...
God dammit! Who was that?!
Did you see them move?
- I did! - Yeah! Yeah,
they moved alright!
Well, I'll tell ya what!
We may not have Elway this year, but Brister
won every game he started in last year!
Well, that's true! But Elway was the
heart of the team! Who's the leader now?
I think the Jets are gonna be the
team to beat this year in the AFC!
Yeah! Hey! If you watch another guy
masturbate, does that make you gay?
- What?! - Well, I just...
I have this buddy!
Uh, he sat and watched
another guy play with himself!
- Well, lets go kick his ass!
- Yeah!
- Where is he?!
- Oh, he lives in... like... Florida!
- Hey, Randy! What're
you doing? - Nothing!
- I'm gonna go get some chips.
- Can I come with you?
Okay! - Come right
on in here, Bosley!
It was my idea! I-uh got to thinking,
where do people keep TV sets,
and then I remembered that lots of
grown-ups have TVs in thier bedrooms!
So I walked into Mr. Mackey's bedroom,
uh, and sure enough! Here it was!
Rad!
Okay, Bosley! We've got you cookies and
a TV set! So, what's our next mission?
There are no more missions!
I have everything I want!
Weee ain't got no more missions?
What're we s'posed to do?
We're Angles! Wha'do
Angles do without missions?
Just play something else, Gawd!
Oh, dear! We've
angered Bosley!
Tom, I'm standing in front of
a house where a religious cult
is planning to commit mass suicide
when the meteor shower starts!
- Woah, cool!
- I wanna be a reporter someday!
Just moments ago, a couple
emerged from the house!
According to the ATF,
the couple refused to co-operate
then pulled out very big guns
and started shooting everyone.
The ATF had no choice but
to shoot the insane couple.
And now, a stand off has insued.
Oh! That cult is about to
be blown into tiny bits!
The ATF Commander tells us that he
has reason to believe there may be
children inside and that they... - Wait a
minute! - are the primary concern of all!
Oh, my God! Dude! That's this house! They
think our parents are the religious cult!
Do you think someday
I could be a reporter?
We've just received a photo from the
RECON team of the action inside the house!
howing evedence that there are
indeed inocent children trapped inside!
Those sick cult
fanatic bastards! - Dude!
Hey! Our parents
aren't religious fantastics!
Why, we godda tell them that they're
makin an awful mistake! Don't we?!
Yes! Come on, Angles! Looks
like we have a new mission!
Randy, you're making me feel
unimportant! Talk! Talk, damn you!
Look, I'm just having a hard time
with what we did in the hot tub!
So... so now we
can't be friends?
I didn't say that! I mean, I don't
know! I... I just feel so strange.
I know it's ridiculous, but can't help
feeling like people here know!
Like, even though nobody could know
cause we said we'd never tell anybody.
We said we'd never tell anybody?
- Well, of course we wouldn't!
- Oh! Well, I didn't realize that!
- You didn't... tell anybody! Did you?
- Well, a few people! Yeah!
What?! Why the hell would you do that?
- You didn't say not to tell anyone!
Well, of course, I thought
it would be implied!
When you masturbate with
another guy in a hot tub,
you assume that nobody's
gonna tell anybody!
Listen to you! You're yelling at me!
You've never yelled at me before!
Hey, you guys!
We've got a big problem!
The ATF is outside and they think you're
all a religious cult! You gotta talk to them!
Uh, How come they're
actin that way, Stan?
How come they're laughin
and fallin down and such?
- Mom! Go look outside!
- Mommy's little poopykins!
Lemmie handle this, Stan! Uh, now
listen up and listen good everyone!
Why, I'm awful dissapointed in you
drinkin and carryin on this way!
Why, you... you should
be ashamed yourselves!
If you don't get outside right now, and
tell those army guys you're not a
religious fantastics, there... well, there's
gonna be heck to pay! Yep! Heck I tell ya!
Come on! We're gonna have
to to tell them ourselves!
- Lay down your weapons!
- We don't have any weapons!
Go back inside and tell everyone
that they are surrounded!
Tell them to come out peacefully
and we will not shoot them!
Get back inside!
I don't think they're gonna come
out. Use the Gagnes technique.
- What's the Gagnes technique?
- This is what we did in Waco!
Play really bad music really
loud until it drives them nuts
and makes them
wanna come out!
Nobody can stand this much Cher!
This is her new album! If this
doesn't drive them out, nothing will!
That's great music,
Mr. Mackey! What is that?
Oh, this is Cher!
This is her new album!
Well, hell! Turn it up!
Yeah! Well, you know what I
heard! I... I heard that he's gay!
- Oh! Is he?
- Who?!
- Who... who did you hear is...
is gay?! - Ricky Martin, the singer!
- Hey, Randy! What's up? - What
the hell is that supposed to mean?!
- Huh? - Look! Sho... shouldn't you be
hangin out with your wife right now?
- Well, I just felt like talkin to you!
- There's nothing to talk about!
- Your having regrets, aren't you?
- No! Why? I don't know!
- Hey! Talk to me!
- NO!
I thought we agreed what happened in the
hot tub wouldn't change our relationship!
Will you stop it!
I don't...! I just...!
Hey, Mr. Withdrawn! You might not
need to talk about it, but I sure do!
Sharron! Sharron!
Can... can we go?
Go?! The meteor shower
hasn't even started yet!
I know, but I want to make
love to you right now!
I have to make love
to you right now!
Randy, relax! We don't ever get to party.
Now, come on! Loosen up! Experiment!
Oh! I already did!
- Dad! Dad! They shot at us!
- Not now, Stan!
- Mom!
- Whoopie!
Hey! What're we gonna do, huh? They
shot at us! They really shot at us!
They ain't gonna stop until we're all
dead, I betcha! House and all our family!
Get a hold of yourself, man!
How come you slapped
my face, Stan? Huh?
Why... why on earth would you
go and do that for anyways?
C'mon! We have to find
out what's happening!
I'm standing now
with Danny Gagnes,
the commander of the ATF.
Commander, what is the latest?
We have not had any co-operation
with the cult inside the house!
They are refusing to come out and
apparently, they still plan to commit
mass suicide once the meteor shower
starts which should be any moment now!
See how reporters get to wear those cool
jackets? That's why I wanna be a reporter.
So what are your
plans, commander?
Right now, our plan is
to burn the house down.
If we set it on fire, they'll have
no choice but to come out.
Oh! Dear God! They're
gonna set us on fire!
Oh, great Jesus, son of Mary, wife
of Joseph! What're we gonna do!
Oh, sweet Joseph, husband of Mary,
but not father of sweet Jesus!
Setting them of fire seems a
little dangerous, commander!
It is! But we can't let
them kill themselves!
We have to let them
know this isn't a cult party!
But we can't! They'll
just shoot at us again!
Uh, they're gonna burn us up
and act like nothin happened!
Oh, sweet Jesus! Mary, mother of Jesus,
wife of Joseph, father of Mary!
Well... wait! Mary,
wife of... Hold on!
Come on, Angles! We've got a new
mission! And this time, it's for real!
Four hours now, the ATF
has tried to communicate
with the religious
fanatics inside this house.
The meteor shower is expected to begin at
any moment. And so, time is running out!
Ho, ho! Look! Harold's doing
it again! Hm, hm! Hmkay?!
This is Jill Monroe reporting live from
inside the meteor shower party.
As you can see, this is a
perfectly normal party.
Nobody is killing themselves.
We tried to tell ATF people,
but they shot at us.
- Anything else?
- Tell them not to burn us down!
Oh, yeah! Don't burn us, please!
Jill Monroe, GFN news!
Now, what do we do? - Now, we find a way
to get this tape out to the real reporters!
Hey! I'm a real reporter!
You're right! You are, Dougie!
You did an awesome job!
Attention, cult people!
Do not commit mass suicide!
There are so many reasons
not to kill yourselves!
Flowers, for instance!
And back rubs!
Alright! I'm through trying to reason
with them! Send in the negotiator!
Excuse me, but what
proof do you have
that those people inside
are religious fanatics?
We know what we're doing!
We did this all before in Waco!
Yes, but you totally screwed up Waco!
You killed a bunch of innocent people
and then tried to say
they killed themselves!
- Look! You see this?
You see this? - Yes!
You see it? You see it?
Go get it! Go get it!
Alright! Let's get ready to kick
some religious fanatic ass!
- Having a good time?
- Yeah! Swell!
Could I just have a
few minutes alone?
I'm not gonna let you
change on me, Randy!
Just because we shared an intimate
moment in the hot tub, I won't...
We did not share an intimate moment!
Okay? That makes it sound gay!
- G'night everyone!
- Look out!
Hold your fire! Okay!
People at the door!
That was a warning!
Go back inside and tell the others that
they now have one minute to surrender!
Oh, no! We're out of time!
- Are you sure you can do this,
Butters? - Well, no! I'm not sure!
I'm not sure at all!
What am I doin again?
We're just gonna slide you down
this rope then you gotta get our
exclusive video to that
reporter down there!
That sounds awful dangerous!
Can you hit a target, Pip?
I was Audrey Class,
Esquire! Scrap Archer!
Hit something
nice and solid, now!
I think that's got it!
- Nice job, Pip!
- Did I do a nice job, really?
Alright, Butters!
Now, it's your turn!
Weeeell, I don't know about
this! I... I think I'll reconsider!
Yep, I think reconsidering
is the thing to do right now.
He made it down!
Alright, people, prepare
to fire on my command!
- Mr. Reporter Man, sir!
- Huh?
Uh, we've got an eyewitness
exclusive video for you sir!
- Honey? - God! Everybody's
looking at me!
Everybody knows! - Everybody doesn't
know! Why are you so ashamed of me?
What's happened to you?! You've
become all needy and talkative!
I just want to know if it
meant something to you!
IT DIDN'T MEAN
ANYTHING TO ME, GERRY!
All WE DID WAS WATCH EACH
OTHER MASTURBATE IN THE HOT TUB!
I was just IN the hot tub!
Yeah! Yeah, it's true! I thought it
would be exciting and maybe it was!
But, I can't deal with
your accusing stares!
We watched each other
jack off in the hot tub!
There! We did it! I'm not
prowd of it, but there it is!
Well, it's not like you're the only guy ever to
watch another guy masturbate! I've done it!
- Me too!
- Yeah! I've done it a few times!
- Yep!
- Me too!
Aww, hell! I... I've done it
too! With Cameron, here!
Wanita, could you fix some
more dip? Please, Wanita?
You mean it? I'm not gay?
Well, maybe a little!
But, we're all a little gay!
Oh! I feel so much better! Wow!
- So, we're friends again?
- You bet we are, Gerry!
I feel great! I feel like I could take on
the world! Everything gonna be okay!
Alright, everyone! Fire!
Hold on just a minute! This
is Derrik Smalls reporting!
We've just recieved an exlusive
video from inside the house!
Proving that the people inside
are not cultists after all!
Attention, everyone!
This has only been a test!
- Good job, men, on this, uh,
simulation! - Simulation?
ll is well! Do not shoot at...
I believe we saved the day!
- Sir, this isn't gonna look good!
- You're right!
Quick! Let's get out of here!
Say, that was a fine
piece of journalism, boys!
- Wow! You mean it?
- Sure!
Why, with your tape,
I'll be able to make millions
and further my career
beyond my wildest dreams!
Wooaah! Hooray, then!
Well, Angles! I must say!
I think we did a smashing job!
We sure did! Why, we put the fear of God
into those ATF sons of guns, I can tell ya!
But you know,
I learned something today!
I used to call you guys melvins!
But, you're just kids like me!
We separate you in school because
you talk different or study too hard!
But, we've proven tonight
that we can all get along!
Uh, so you mean we can stay friends,
Stan? Won't that be swell! Huh!?
Dude! I'm glad to see you!
You would not
believe the night I had!
You?! You think
you had a bad night?
I had to hang out all night
with these friggin melvins!
- Oh, Dude! Weak!
- Super weak!
C'mon! I'll tell you all about
what happened to me!
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